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American Psycho

American Psycho quotes

56 total quotes

Multiple Characters
Patrick Bateman

View Quote Bryce: [after snorting cut cocaine] I want to get high off this, not sprinkle it on my ****ing Oaties.
Bateman: Definitely weak, but I have a feeling that if we do enough of it we'll be okay.
Club Patron: [leans over from another booth] Will you keep it down? I'm trying to do drugs!
Bryce: HEY, **** YOU!
View Quote Bryce: He makes himself out to be a harmless old codger, but inside... inside...
Bateman: [voice-over] ..."but inside" doesn't matter.
McDermott: "Inside," yes, "inside..." - believe it or not, Bryce, we're actually listening to you...
Bryce: Come on, Bateman, what do you think?
Bateman: Whatever.
View Quote Courtney Rawlinson: Listen Patrick, can we talk?
Bateman: You look... marvelous. There's nothing to say.
View Quote Courtney Rawlinson: Stop it, I'm...
Bateman: - on a lot of lithium?
View Quote Courtney Rawlinson: Will you call me before Easter?
Bateman: Maybe.
View Quote Evelyn: Thousands of roses and lots of chocolate truffles. Godiva, and oysters in the half-shell.
Bateman: [narrating] I'm trying to listen to the new Robert Palmer tape, but Evelyn, my supposed fianc?e, keeps buzzing in my ear.
Evelyn: Annie Leibovitz. We'll get Annie Leibovitz. And we'll have to get someone to videotape. Patrick, we should do it.
Bateman: Do what?
Evelyn: Get married. Have a wedding.
Bateman: No, I can't take the time off work.
Evelyn: Your father practically owns the company. You can do anything you like, silly.
Bateman: I don't want to talk about it.
Evelyn: Well, you hate that job anyway. Why don't you just quit? You don't have to work.
Bateman: Because I
View Quote Jean: Are you dating anyone?
Bateman: Maybe. I don't know... Not really.
View Quote Jean: Make someone happy. Have you ever wanted to?
Bateman: I'm looking for, uh... [puts nail gun to the back of Jean's head] I guess you could say I just want to have a meaningful relationship with someone special.
View Quote Jean: What's that?
Bateman: Duct tape. I need it for... taping something.
View Quote McDermott: If they have a great personality and they're not great looking... then who ****ing cares?
Bateman: Well, let's just say hypothetically ok? What if they have a great personality?
[pause, all laugh]
Bateman: I know, I know.
Bateman, McDermott, Van Patten: [in unison] There are no girls with good personalities.
Van Patten: A good personality consists of a chick with a little hard body, who will satisfy all sexual demands without being too slutty about things, and who essentially will keep her dumb ****ing mouth shut.
McDermott: The only girls with good personalities who are smart or maybe funny or halfway intelligent or talented, though God knows what the **** that means, are ugly chicks.
Van Patten: Absolutely.
McDermott: And this is because they have to make up for how ****ing unnattractive they are.
View Quote Van Patten: They don't have a good bathroom to do coke in.
McDermott: Are you sure that's Paul Allen over there?
Bryce: Yes. McDufus, I am.
McDermott: He's handling the Fisher account.
Bryce: Lucky bastard.
McDermott: Lucky Jew bastard.
Bateman: Oh, Jesus, McDermott, what does that have to do with anything?
McDermott: Listen. I've seen the bastard sitting in his office on the phone with CEOs, spinning a ****ing menorah. The bastard brought a Hanukkah bush into the office last December.
Bateman: You spin a dreidel, McDermott, not a menorah. You spin a dreidel.
McDermott: Oh, my God. Bateman, do you want me to fry you up some ****ing potato pancakes? Some latkes?
Bateman: No. Just cool it with the anti-Semitic remarks.
McDermott: Oh, I forgot. Bateman's dating someone from the ACLU.
View Quote Waiter: Would you like to hear today's specials?
Bateman: Not if you want to keep your spleen.
View Quote [Just after breaking up]
Evelyn: Where are you going?
Bateman: I am just leaving.
Evelyn: But where?
Bateman: I have to return some videotapes.
View Quote (As Bateman is loading a recent murder victim into the trunk of a taxi, a co-worker spots him) Luis: Patrick? Patrick, is that you?
Bateman: No, Luis, it's not me. You're mistaken.
View Quote [after being kicked in the face by Christie the prostitute] Not the face! You bitch! Not the ****ing face, you piece of bitch trash!