You realize we're all going to go to college as virgins. They probably have special dorms for people like us.
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Jim She's gone! Oh my God, she used me. I was used. I was used! Cool!
Jim's Dad I have to admit, you know, I did the fair bit of [hesitates] masturbating when I was a little younger. I used to call it stroking the salami, yeah, you know, pounding the old pud. [pause] I never did it with baked goods, but you know your uncle Mort, he pets the one-eyed snake 5-6 times a day.
Jim's Dad Well, they're safer than a tube sock...
American Pie
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