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Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore

Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore quotes

12 total quotes

Alice Hyatt
Flo


View Quote Alice: [after Tommy was being smart] If you open your mouth, once more, I swear to God, I'm gonna nail it shut.
[Tommy opens his mouth]
Alice: I'm warning you, Tommy. I'm gonna throw you out, and you're gonna walk the last mile home.
[Tommy makes faces at his mother]
Alice: Get out!
[Kicks Tommy out of the car and drives away]
View Quote Alice: I know what I'm doing!
David: Yeah, you do. That's why you can't make up your mind about your kid, your job, Monterey, or me.
View Quote Alice: I'm an okay sorta person. How'd I get such a smart-ass kid?
Tommy: You got pregnant.
View Quote Chicken: Would you mind turning around for me?
Alice: Turn around? Why?
Chicken: I wanna look at ya.
Alice: Well, look at my face, I don't sing with my ass.
View Quote David: [Tommy's milking a cow] Hey, Tommy, watch the fingernails.
Tommy: Well, Christ, she's got tits the size of cu****bers. What do you expect?
Alice: [to David] Ahem. I don't know where he gets that language, I really don't.
Tommy: Think real hard, it'll come to you, lady.
View Quote Flo: My old man, he ain't talked to me since the day Kennedy got shot.
Alice: Why? Did he think you had something to do with it?
View Quote Tommy: Mom, are we in Arizona yet?
Alice: If you ask me that one more time, I'm gonna beat you to death. Just sit back there and relax and enjoy life, huh?
Tommy: Life is short.
Alice: So are you.
View Quote Tommy: You really love David, don't you?
Alice: Yep, I do.
Tommy: Yeah, I like him too, I just hate his taste in music. He always said you could fight with somebody and still like him.
Alice: Hey, now you're using your old noggin! Thanks pal!
[she hugs and kisses him]
Alice: My boy!
Tommy: Mom, mom, I can't breathe!
View Quote How are we supposed to have a meaningful family relationship if he's always on the verge of killing you?
View Quote I could lay under you, eat fried chicken and do a crossword puzzle at the same time, that's how much you bother me.
View Quote You kiss me where the sun don't shine.
View Quote You're a very weird kid.