Arthur Chaney [courtcase of Snively vs. Framm just started and Timberwolves coach Arthur Chaney just walked into the courtroom, unexpectedly]
Why not let the dog choose, your honor? They say a dog is man's best friend. If that's the case, shouldn't the dog be able to choose who he wants to be friends with?
Who are you, Barnum or Bailey?
Arthur Chaney Arthur Chaney, your honor.
Mr. Chaney, do your reali... [stammers in shock] Arthur Chaney? New York Knicks, '56? Huh, I was at that Celtics game where you did the turn-around jumper, at the buzzer. [light chuckle] I spilled beer all over my wife.
Bailiff [light laughter in the courtroom]
Your honor?
What? Oh, yes, yes, yes. [clears his throat Bangs Gavel. Buddy barks] Mr. Chaney.
Arthur Chaney Well, I've been thinking. This dog is what, three, four years old. That makes him an adult, in our years. I say let Buddy decide.
[court members murmur]
Mr. Chaney, during my 40 years on the bench, I have heard a lot of lamebrain cockamanie proposals. But this one I like.
JF Josh Framm
[a day or two after Principal Pepper fired Coach Barker; knocks on her office door]
Mrs. Pepper?
Principal Pepper Mm-hmm.
JF Josh Framm
Um, have you found a basketball coach yet?
Principal Pepper Mm-hmm. Yes, Larry's father volunteered. Just until we find a new P.E. teacher.
JF Josh Framm
[starts to leave, but then goes back to her door]
Okay.
Principal Pepper Mm-hmm.
JF Josh Framm
[opens her door, the second time]
Would it be weird, if I make a suggestion?
Arthur Chaney Larry, out!
Larry Willingham What? Why are you taking me out?
Arthur Chaney Josh, go on in for Larry, huh?
BW Buck Willingham
What the hell do you think you're doing?
Arthur Chaney Time, ref!
BW Buck Willingham
Why are you taking my kid out?
Arthur Chaney Because he's playing like a one-man team.
BW Buck Willingham
This boy is the team!
Arthur Chaney Maybe he is to a worked-up father, but to me he's a player who's got a whole lot to learn. Now I'll kindly ask you to take your seat, Mr. Willingham. Let me get back to coaching my team.
BW Buck Willingham
Come on, Larry. We're leaving.
Larry Willingham But, Dad?
Arthur Chaney Check in, Josh.
WH Warriors Head Coach
What the heck's going on here?
Arthur Chaney I'll handle this, Josh.
R2 Referee #2
Look, the Timberwolves wanna substitute a dog.
WH Warriors Head Coach
What, are they nuts?
Arthur Chaney Dog's a registered member of the team. He practices with the team, he travels with the team. You check your rule book. Bet you won't find anything in there that says a dog can't play.
Referee #1 He's right. Ain't no rule that says a dog can't play basketball.
BW Buck Willingham
This is a joke! I mean, dogs don't play basketball!
Arthur Chaney What's the matter, gentlemen? Afraid your team might get beat by a dog?
WH Warriors Head Coach & Buck Willingham
Put him in!
