Lucy
OK, you can wipe the doe-eyed-Bambi-watching-her-mother-get-shot-and-strapped-to-the-back-of-a-van look from your face.
Played by Judy Greer 
13 Going on 30 (2004) · 48 quotes
13 Going on 30 (2004) · 48 quotes
Okay, you can wipe the doe-eyed-Bambi-watching-her-mother-get-shot-and-strapped-to-the-back-of-the-van look from your face. I talked to Trish Sackett yesterday. It's okay, Jenna; I know all about your little deal. It's a sweet little deal, actually. Editor-in-chief if you help them hit a million copies? So you would give them tips. Not bad. I just wish I would have thought of it.
Scenes with Lucy
10 scenes Lucy
Lucy
Can you get in the car?
Jenna
I can't get in the car, I don't get in the car with strangers.
Lucy
Please get in the car, we're gonna be late.
Jenna
I can't get in the car, I don't know you.
Lucy
Just get in the car.
Jenna
I don't get in the car with strangers!
Lucy
You're being a little paranoid.
Jenna
Wait, listen to me. I'm 13!
Lucy
Jenna, if you're gonna start lying about your age, I'd go with 27.
Lucy
Okay, Jenna, repeat after me: I am Jenna Rink, big time magazine editor.
Jenna
I am?
Lucy
Say it.
Jenna
I am Jenna Rink big time magazine editor.
Lucy
I'm a tough bitch.
Lucy
[Jenna looks away, embarrassed to say it]
Say it!
Jenna
I am a tough [whispers] bitch.
Lucy
I'm gonna walk into this office and not let anyone know I'm hung over.
Jenna
But that's just it. I'm not hung over-
Jenna
[Lucy gives her pointed look] [sighs]
I'm gonna walk into this office and not let anyone know I'm hung over.
Lucy
Beaver? You lost all your baby fat! How does the Beaver stay warm in winter?
Matt
Lucy? I barely recognized you. Did you get a nose job?
Lucy
Honey, I know I'm your best friend, but the slip-dress is a little '97... unless it's retro.
Jenna
[surprised]
Are you really my best friend?
Lucy
[wondering why Jenna is acting so strange]
You're pregnant.
Jenna
[horrified]
Oh, no! Oh, my God, no!
Lucy
[relieved]
Thank God. You scare me. What did you do last night?
Jenna
[nervous]
See, that's just it. Something really strange is happening. I slept in an apartment I've never seen before... and there was a naked man in my shower and I saw his thingy.
Lucy
[sarcastically]
Oh, God. Not his thingy. [to driver] Driver, could you please pull over, since we're here?
Lucy
[regarding security breaches at the company]
Richard, we are hiring new printers, we're installing passwords. We're building firewalls on all the computers. Jenna fired Charlotte yesterday.
Richard
[to Jenna]
Did you? Good, I guarantee she has friends at Sparkle. She was always taking notes.
Lucy
She was a secretary.
Richard
Yeah, whatever.
Lucy
[at a huge party]
Speaking of disasters, what is she doing here?
Jenna
Who?
Lucy
Sparkle's editor-in-chief, Trish Sackett. Twelve o'clock and headed our way.
Trish
[smugly]
Hi, girls. Our J. Lo issue is selling like hotcakes. How's yours doing?
Lucy
[sarcastically]
My God, Trish, are things so bad you had to come to our party to eat free food? Please, put some crab in your purse for later.
Trish
You might want to keep some of that biting wit for your magazine. Or you could change the name to something more appropriate...like Poison or Pitiful. Whatever's more pathetic.
Jenna
You know what? You are rude and mean and sloppy and frizzy. I don't like you at all.
Trish
Well, fortunately, I don't care about being liked. I care about winning.
Jenna
[Lucy is packing up her belongings inside a box]
Lucy, you stole Matt's pictures!
Lucy
[sarcastically]
Oh, which one do you want to be today, the pot or the kettle? If you don't mind, I'd like to be the pot...maybe the kettle. I don't know, it doesn't really matter, they're both black.
Jenna
[confused]
What are you talking about?
Lucy
[revealing Jenna's letter from Sparkle Magazine]
Found this in your office yesterday. Does it look familiar to you? It has your name on it!
Jenna
You went through my things? [snatches the letter]
Lucy
[angrily]
Oh, give me a break. [sarcastically] How horrible. How terrible. I can't believe I did it.
Jenna
[still not getting the idea while she looks through the contents inside the envelope]
What is this? I don't even know what this is.
Lucy
[furiously]
Okay, you can wipe the doe-eyed-Bambi-watching-her-mother-get-shot-and-strapped-to-the-back-of-a-van look from your face. I talked to Trish Sackett yesterday. It's okay, Jenna; I know all about your little deal. It's a sweet little deal, actually. Editor-in-chief if you help them hit a million copies? So you would give them tips.
Jenna
[Jenna reads the letter from Sparkle Magazine which says: "Jenna, Thanks for all the great ideas. This is the best yet. You'll make a great editor-in-chief at Sparkle." confirming that Jenna was the one sabotaging Poise Magazine all along] [horrified at the truth]
Oh my God.
Lucy
Not bad. I just wish I would have thought of it.
Jenna
Oh, no.
Lucy
[smugly]
Oh, yes. Only now, I'm taking your job and you can stay here with the magazine that you single-handedly flushed down the toilet.
Jenna
What about Matt? Why did he sign this? What did you tell him?
Lucy
Let's see, I think I might have told him you decided to go in a different direction which you are now. I might have told him something else too but I just can't remember. [smugly leaves while taking her belongings to her new office]
Young Lucy
[Jenna returns to 1987, and has a second chance as "Crazy for You" by Madonna plays in the background.] [to Matt; smugly]
Jenna's waiting for you in the closet.
Young Jenna
[Young Lucy goes upstairs; Young Matt goes to the closet and opens door.] [excitedly]
Matty! [pounces on Young Matt and passionately kisses him]
Young Matt
[impressed]
Wow. You really know what you're doing.
Young Jenna
Come on.
Young Lucy
[takes scarf; sarcastically]
Sorry, I forgot my scarf.
Young Jenna
[angrily snatches Lucy's homework, and rips it up]
You know what? You can be the pot and kettle all by yourself from now on, [splashes Young Lucy's drink on her dress] biatch. [to Matt] Come on, Matt.
Young Lucy
[to Young Jenna; incensed and confused]
What did you call me?
Young Jenna
We're gonna be late.
Young Matt
For what?
Young Jenna
You'll see.
