Zoolander

Zoolander quotes

101 total quotes (ID: 642)

Derek Zoolander
Hansel
Mugatu
Multiple Characters


I wasn't like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut, I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree. Richard Gere's a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that. I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I'm selling? No. Do I know what I'm doing today? No. But I'm here, and I'm gonna give it my best shot.


[hypnotizing Derek] Hi Derek! My name's Little Cletus. I'm just a regular kid and want you to know the real truth about child labor laws, ok? They're silly and outdated. Why, back in the 30s, children as young as five could work as they pleased; from textile factories to iron smelts. Yippee! Hurray!

Derek: Look, you can't just come into people's lofts, wanting sex, then changing your mind, then telling them they've been at a day spa for a week...
Matilda: You have been at a day spa for a week.
Derek: So what?!

Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.

[...] I'm a hot little potato right now!

Todd! Are you not aware that I get farty and bloated with a foamy latte?

We've got thirty years worth of files, right here in this computer, they're gonna bring you down!! [Throws the computer off the balcony, still thinking that the files are _in_ the computer.] [After the computer smashed up on the ground:] Where'd all the files go?

Matilda: [to Katinka] By the way, you were wrong about my outfit. It's the Cheryl Ladd collection and I got it at JC Penney's. On sale!

David Bowie: [a judge is needed for the "walk-off"] If nobody has any objections, I believe I might be of service.

There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesmen, where I thought, "Wow, I could really spend the rest of my life with this woman."

Derek Zoolander: I just wanted to make you proud of me, pop.
Larry Zoolander: How? With your male modeling? Prancing around in your underwear with your wiener hanging out for everyone to see?

Katinka: [after throwing Matilda into the street from Mugatu's spa] I suggest you and your Kmart Jaclyn Smith Collection outfit... stay the hell away from Derek Zoolander!

Derek Zoolander: [after being in a coal mine for a day] I think I'm getting the black lung, Pop. [coughing] It's not very well-ventilated down there.
Larry Zoolander: For Christ's sake, Derek, you've been down there one day. Talk to me in thirty years.

Larry Zoolander: You're dead to me boy. You're more dead to me than your dead mother.

Announcer: Oh, you hate to see something like that at an event like this; ugly protesters bothering beautiful people.