Zoolander

Zoolander quotes

101 total quotes (ID: 642)

Derek Zoolander
Hansel
Mugatu
Multiple Characters


Rufus, Brint, and Meekus were like brothers to me. And when I say brother, I don't mean, like, an actual brother, but I mean it like the way black people use it. Which is more meaningful, I think.


[hypnotizing Derek] Hi Derek! My name's Little Cletus. I'm just a regular kid and want you to know the real truth about child labor laws, ok? They're silly and outdated. Why, back in the 30s, children as young as five could work as they pleased; from textile factories to iron smelts. Yippee! Hurray!

Announcer: Oh, you hate to see something like that at an event like this; ugly protesters bothering beautiful people.

Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.

Maury Ballstein: You want an opinion? With a push-up bra you could have a nice rack of lamb going on up there.

We've got thirty years worth of files, right here in this computer, they're gonna bring you down!! [Throws the computer off the balcony, still thinking that the files are _in_ the computer.] [After the computer smashed up on the ground:] Where'd all the files go?

Larry Zoolander: You're dead to me boy. You're more dead to me than your dead mother.

Announcer: ...for the past four years, male modeling has been dominated by one man and five syllables: Der-ek Zoo-land-er. [Derek slowly counts the syllables off on his fingers]

Matilda: I've been trying to reach you for a week.
Derek Zoolander: A week? What, are you having a whack attack? I saw you this afternoon, dum-dum.
Matilda: That was last Friday.
Derek Zoolander: Uh, Earth to Matilda, I was at a day spa. Day, D-A-I-Y-E. Okay?

David Bowie: [a judge is needed for the "walk-off"] If nobody has any objections, I believe I might be of service.

Katinka: I do not like snoopy reporter with lack of fashion sense, not one little bit.

Just thinking about it was the most rewarding experience of my life.

There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesmen, where I thought, "Wow, I could really spend the rest of my life with this woman."

Derek Zoolander: I just wanted to make you proud of me, pop.
Larry Zoolander: How? With your male modeling? Prancing around in your underwear with your wiener hanging out for everyone to see?

I wasn't like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut, I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree. Richard Gere's a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that. I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I'm selling? No. Do I know what I'm doing today? No. But I'm here, and I'm gonna give it my best shot.