Zoolander quotes

101 total quotes

Derek Zoolander
Hansel
Mugatu
Multiple Characters

View Quote [Derek sees his reflection in a puddle] Who am I? [the reflection speaks back] I don't know.

View Quote Larry Zoolander: You're dead to me boy. You're more dead to me than your dead mother.

View Quote Maury Ballstein: You want an opinion? With a push-up bra you could have a nice rack of lamb going on up there.

View Quote [Talking about the files] They're in the computer?

View Quote Matilda: I became...
Hansel: What?
Matilda: Bulimic.
Derek Zoolander: ... you can read minds?

View Quote Announcer: Oh, you hate to see something like that at an event like this; ugly protesters bothering beautiful people.

View Quote Derek: Look, you can't just come into people's lofts, wanting sex, then changing your mind, then telling them they've been at a day spa for a week...
Matilda: You have been at a day spa for a week.
Derek: So what?!

View Quote David Bowie: [a judge is needed for the "walk-off"] If nobody has any objections, I believe I might be of service.

View Quote You think that you're too cool for school, but I have a newsflash for you, Walter Cronkite... you aren't.

View Quote Maury Ballstein: I've got a prostate the size of a honeydew and a head full of bad memories.

View Quote Let me show you Derelicte. It is a fashion, a way of life inspired by the very homeless, the vagrants, the crack whores that make this wonderful city so unique.

View Quote Who are you tryin' to get crazy with, Ese? Don't you know I'm loco?

View Quote Maury Ballstein: Watch out Tushie squeeze!

View Quote Katinka: I do not like snoopy reporter with lack of fashion sense, not one little bit.

View Quote Larry Zoolander: You're dead to me Derek. You're deader to me than your dead mother. I just thank the Lord she didn't live to see her son as a mermaid.
Derek Zoolander: Mer-man! [high-pitched cough] Mer-man!