Spaceballs quotes

81 total quotes (ID: 547)

Dark Helmet
Lone Starr
Multiple Characters
Opening credits
President Skroob

[After discovering that most of his ship's crew consists of members of the same Asshole family] I knew it! I'm surrounded by Assholes!(Pulls down his helmet) Keep firing, Assholes!

Aw, buckle this!

1-2-3-4-5? That's the stupidest combination I've ever heard of in my life! That's the kinda thing an idiot would have on his luggage!

[On why he was running down the bridge] The ship is too big. If I walk, the movie'll be over.

Sandurz, Sandurz! You got to help me! I don't know what to do. I can't make decisions! I'm a president!

Why didn't anyone tell me my ass was so big?!

I told you never to call me on this wall! This is an unlisted wall!

On this ship, you are to refer to me as "idiot," not "you captain"! I mean - you know what I mean!

Helmet. So, at last we meet for the first time for the last time.

[waking up on the Tatooine-like moon of Vega and surrounded by the Dinks] ...Did I miss something? When did we get to Disneyland?

[Talking to Barf after King Roland calls them to rescue Vespa] We're not just doing it for money...We're doing it for a shitload of money!

Just what we need... a Druish Princess!

Look your highness, it's not that we're afraid, far from it. It's just that we've got this thing about death; it's not us.

I'm a Mog. Half-man, half-dog. I'm my own best friend.

[Indicating the suitcases] It's her royal highness's matched luggage!