Dark Helmet quotes

[choking and gagging; pulls up mask] I can't breathe in this thing!

So, Lone Starr, now you see that evil will always triumph, because good is dumb.

Yogurt! Yogurt! [referring to the character] I hate Yogurt! Even with Strawberries!

I see that your Schwartz is as big as mine. Now, let's see how well you can handle it.

What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz? Chicken?

[feeling the force of going at Ludicrous Speed] My brains are going into my feet!

[aiming his Schwartz ring at Lone Starr's crotch] Say goodbye to your two best friends, and I don't mean your pals in the Winnebago.

I'll bet she gives great helmet.

Commence operation [pause] Vacu-suck.

[Mr.Radar has just been "jammed".] There's only one man who would dare give me the raspberry: [pulls down helmet as camera zooms in on his face] Lone Starr! [camera slams into his face and knocks him out]

I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate.

Come back here, you fat bearded bitch!

[After discovering that most of his ship's crew consists of members of the same Asshole family] I knew it! I'm surrounded by Assholes!(Pulls down his helmet) Keep firing, Assholes!

Aw, buckle this!

1-2-3-4-5? That's the stupidest combination I've ever heard of in my life! That's the kinda thing an idiot would have on his luggage!

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