The Simpsons Movie quotes

View Quote Marge: Homer, you have to go out there, face that mob, and apologize for what you did.
Homer: I would, but I'm afraid that if I open the door, they'll take all of you.
Carl: [offscreen] No we won't. We just want Homer!
Homer: Well maybe not you... but they'll kill Grandpa!
Grandpa: [offscreen] I'm part of the mob!

View Quote EPA Soldier: I'm afraid we lost them, sir.
Russ Cargill: Dammit!!!
[Cargill throws his binoculars at the EPA soldier, who cowers in fear. The binoculars bounce back off the dome and hit Cargill in the face.]
Russ Cargill: Well then you find 'em, and you get 'em back in the dome! And to make sure nobody else gets out, I want roving death squads around the perimeter 24-7! I want 10,000 tough guys, and I want 10,000 soft guys to make the tough guys look tougher! And here's how I want them arranged: tough, soft, tough, tough, soft, tough, soft, soft, tough, tough, soft, soft, tough, soft.
[pause]
EPA Soldier: Sir, I'm afraid you've gone mad with power.
Russ Cargill: Of course I have. Have you ever tried going mad without power? It's boring, no one listens to you!

View Quote [During Homer's psychological experience]
Medicine Woman: Unless you have an epiphany, you will spend the remainder of your days alone.
Homer: Okay, epiphany, epiphany, epiphany. Ooh! Bananas are an excellent source of potassium!
[Homer gets slapped by the branches of surrounding trees]
Homer: Americans will never embrace soccer?
[Homer gets slapped twice and then lifted up]
Homer: More than two shakes and it's just playing with yourself?
[Homer gets slapped three times, punched in the gut, and kicked in the crotch; the branches then take his body apart, and the pieces (save his eyes and mouth) begin to melt]
Homer: [sadly] Oh, do whatever you want with me. I don't care about myself anymore.
[Suddenly, the pieces return to normal, and Homer's eyes and mouth are stuck back onto his head]
Medicine Woman: [offscreen] Because...?
Homer: [coming to a realisation] Because... other people are just as important as me. In fact, without them, I'm nothing! [a branch urges him to continue] In order to save myself... [smiles] I have to save Springfield! That's it! [pause] Isn't it?
[The branches reassemble him, and clap in applause]

View Quote [At the very end of the credits, the Squeaky Voiced Teen is seen in the theatre cleaning up.]
Squeaky Voiced Teen: Assistant manager isn't all it's cracked up to be! Four years of film school for this?
[The Squeaky Voiced Teen leaves. The screen fades to black and the movie finally ends.]

View Quote [flicking frantically through the Bible] This book doesn't have any answers!

View Quote [about Plopper the pig] You can't kill him if he's wearing people clothes!

View Quote [after seeing the giant glass dome being placed over Springfield] D'OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHME!!!!!

View Quote [attempting to reason with the mob while in a noose] The word 'apology' is tossed around a lot these days, but when it comes from in here-- [Homer motions towards his heart, and someone throws a circular saw at him] D'OH!

View Quote [trying to rejoin his family in their hideout] Guys? What's the secret knock again?

View Quote I dunno what to tell you, Marge! I don't think about things. I mean, I respect people who do, but... I just try to make the day not hurt until I get to crawl in next to you again.

View Quote [after his epiphany] That was the most incredible experience of my life! And now to find my family, save my town and drop ten pounds! Thank you, Boob Lady!

View Quote [whipping some dogs while using them for dog-sledding] Run! Run! [jumping from one slope to the other side] Jump! Jump! Land! Land! [while dogs are resting] Rest! Rest! [after stopping for the night] Now I know we've had a rough day, but I'm sure we can put all that behind us and-- [the dogs maul him] OOOOOOOOOOWW!!!!! AH! That's my whipping arm!! [the dogs abandon him] Oh, why does everything I whip leave me?

View Quote [shuffling through the snow while talking to himself] Must keep going! Must keep going! Oh, I can't, I can't keep going. Yes, you can! No, I can't! Oh, shut up! You shut up! No, you! No, you! No, you! Oh, real mature. How could you say that?!... Oh what's the point?

View Quote [sees Marge in the distance] Marge! Marge! [runs into a tree branch] Oh no, the "epiha-tree"! [to the tree] Hey, I did my best! What am I supposed to do?! [wind blows a leaf to the hole in the dome up top] But how am I supposed to get up there? [sun shines down on a motorcycle] Ohhhh... [places a dollar in a hole on the tree] Here, buy yourself something nice.

View Quote [Ned Flanders offers Bart cocoa] No way. Cocoa's for wusses! [Ned leaves a mug of cocoa on the windowsill and leaves. He comes back to spray whipped cream, puts a wafer in and grate hard chocolate on it, puts more whipped cream on top of the wafer, puts a marshmallow on top, uses a blowtorch to toast the marshmallow, and leaves again. Won over, Bart creeps closer, snatches the mug, moves to a distance, and takes a sip.] Oh, my God.