Real Genius

Real Genius quotes

76 total quotes (ID: 484)

Chris Knight
Kent Torokvei
Lazlo Hollyfeld
Mitch Taylor
Other
Professor Hathaway


Lazlo: I thought you might need some help with the test, so I dug into the computer and got every question Hathaway ever asked on every final he's ever given.
Chris: Gee, I, I didn't get you anything. Are those they?
Lazlo: No. These are entries into the Frito-Lay Sweepstakes. "No purchase necessary, enter as often as you want" - so I am.
Chris: That's great! How many times?
Lazlo: Well, this batch makes it one million six hundred and fifty thousand. I should win thirty-two point six percent of the prizes, including the car.
Chris: That kind of takes the fun out of it, doesn't it?
Lazlo: They set up the rules, and lately I've come to realize that I have certain materialistic needs.
Chris: So, um, where are the questions?
Lazlo: I memorized them.


Mitch Taylor: Something strange happened to me this morning.
Chris Knight: Was it a dream where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?
Mitch Taylor: No.
Chris Knight: Why am I the only person that has that dream?

Chris Knight: No seriously, listen...if there's ever anything I can do for you, or more to the point, to you, you let me know, okay?
Susan Decker: Can you hammer a six inch spike through a board with your penis?
Chris Knight: Not right now.
Susan Decker: A girl's got to have her standards.

Kent: My condolences on your meltdown, Knight.
Chris Knight: What meltdown, Kent?
Kent: I'm not saying you had one, because how would I know? But just in case you do.
Chris Knight: You slime!
Kent: It's your own fault, Knight. Didn't anyone ever tell you to make sure your optics are clean?

Chris Knight: Did you touch anything?
Mitch Taylor: Uh, no.
Chris Knight: Good. Because all of my filth is arranged in alphabetical order. This, for instance, is under 'H' for 'toy.'
Mitch Taylor: What is it?
Chris Knight: A penis-stretcher. Wanna try it?
Mitch Taylor: No!
Chris Knight: I'm kidding. It's yet another in a long series of diversions in an attempt to avoid responsibility.

Bodie: Well, I guess it goes from God, to Jerry, to you, to the cleaners. Right, Kent?

Chris Knight: Kent put his name on his license plate.
Mitch: My mother does that to my underwear.
Chris Knight: Your mother puts license plates in your underwear? How do you sit?

Dr. Meredith: A bit of advice.
Mitch: [pulls out notebook to write down what Dr. Meredith says] Oh, uh, thank you?
Dr. Meredith: Always...uh...never...forget to check your references.
Mitch: Uh, OK...thank you. I'd better be going.
[Mitch leaves]
Dr. Meredith: [to his wife] I think the young people enjoy it when I "get down" verbally, don't you?

Jerry Hathaway: To graduate, dear boy, you need my class. So it seems I have something to say about what you do and where you go.
Chris Knight: OK, if you think that by threatening me, you can get me to be your slave, well... that's where you're right, but - and I'm only saying this because I care - there are a lot of decaffeinated brands on the market today that are just as tasty as the real thing.
Jerry Hathaway: I'm not kidding, Chris.
Chris Knight: Neither am I, Jerry.

[In the men's room]
Jordan: Hi, good morning, I thought I saw you come in here, you must be an earlier riser, we met last night, I'm Jordan, remember? I made you a sweater.
Mitch: Last night?
Jordan: Yeah, it's just something I do with my hands while I'm reading. I hope I got the size right, I'm pretty sure I did, I have a brother so I use him as a sizing comparison, and I have a pretty good eye for that sort of thing, so I just went ahead and made you one because I was, you know, up. Are you peeing?
Mitch: Yeah.
Jordan: I never sleep. I don't know why. It drove my roommate nuts. I mean really nuts, they had to take her away in an ambulance and everything, she's okay now though, but she had to transfer to an easier school but I don't know if that part has anything to do with being my fault, but still, anyway, if you ever want any help studying at night or just let me know, okay, 'cause I'm just a couple of doors down from you guys and I never sleep, okay?
Mitch: Thanks, I will.
Jordan: Are you finished?
Mitch: I can't start.
Jordan: Because I'm here?
Mitch: I think so.
Jordan: Weird. Well I have to go.
Mitch: Me too.

First, you have to get even with Kent. It's a moral imperative.

Chris Knight: You are very beautiful.
Sherry Nugel: Thank you. You certainly don't act like one of the top ten minds in America.
Chris Knight: Oh, really? How many of them have you met?
Sherry Nugel: Seven. You'll be eight. Professor Hostetler at M.I.T. was number six.
Chris Knight: Old Professor Hostetler? Isn't he dead?
Sherry Nugel: He is now.

Chris Knight: Ick, this ice is great! How did you do it?
Ick: Oh sure, I tell you, you tell someone else and the next thing you know, we're in the middle of another ice age.

Ok, calm down, let's just take a step back... No wait, take a step forward... Now take a step back... And a step forward.. And now we're Cha Cha-ing.

Chris Knight: I'm sorry, it was just an infantile response to authority.
Recruiter: Yes. You are Chris Knight, aren't you?
Chris Knight: I hope so. I'm wearing his underwear.