Chris Knight quotes

[to a girl at a party] Don't eat that. Don't you know that eating that can give you very large breasts? [looks down at her chest] Oh my God, I'm too late!

Do you mind if I name my first child after you? "Dipshit Knight" has a nice ring to it.

Self-realization. I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said, "I drank what?"

[Looking at Dr. Meredith's bunny slippers, then his own] ...May I take this opportunity to compliment you on your fashion sense, particularly your slippers.

Moles and trolls, moles and trolls, work, work, work, work, work. We never see the light of day. We plan this thing for weeks and all they want to do is study. I'm disgusted. I'm sorry but it's not like me, I'm depressed. There was what, no one at the mutant hamster races and we had one entry into the Madame Curie look-alike contest and he was disqualified later. Why do I bother?

First, you have to get even with Kent. It's a moral imperative.

When you're smart, people need you. You can use your mind creatively.

[to Mitch, as he is hanging upside down] Would you prepared if gravity reversed itself? The only thing I can't figure out is how to keep the change in my pockets. I've got it. Nudity.

This? This is ice. This is what happens to water when it gets too cold. This? This is Kent. This is what happens to people when they get too sexually frustrated.

Oh, Kent, that is so unfair! And we were going to make you King of the Winter Carnival.

Welcome to Pacific Tech's "Smart People on Ice".

You see Mitch, I used to be you, and lately I've been missing me so I asked Dr. Hathaway if I could room with me again and he said sure.

Oh my god! It's heading for the gas tanks! DUCK!!... Would you classify that as a launch problem or a design problem?

[to prospective employers] I'm sorry. It's just that I didn't want you guys to think I was stuffy. You know, no fun. All brain no penis.

Telstar! Wow! Isn't that the satellite that's raining debris all over Europe?

Put simply, in deference to you Kent, it's like lasing a stick of dynamite.

It's easy to lie to you, Mitch, you trust people. I'm a cynic.

Ok, calm down, let's just take a step back... No wait, take a step forward... Now take a step back... And a step forward.. And now we're Cha Cha-ing.

Relax. That's just the fuses at the substation, they'll have it back on in a minute. Maybe I shouldn't have shorted across the building transformer. But more important: did we get a charge?

Okay, given the kind of people you are and the environment you're in, you have to admit the strong probability that this could be the only time in your entire lives to have sex.

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