I thought you might need some help with the test, so I dug into the computer and got every question Hathaway ever asked on every final he's ever given.

Gee, I, I didn't get you anything. Are those they?

No. These are entries into the Frito-Lay Sweepstakes. "No purchase necessary, enter as often as you want" - so I am.

That's great! How many times?

Well, this batch makes it one million six hundred and fifty thousand. I should win thirty-two point six percent of the prizes, including the car.

That kind of takes the fun out of it, doesn't it?

They set up the rules, and lately I've come to realize that I have certain materialistic needs.

So, um, where are the questions?

I memorized them.