Producers, The (2005) quotes

View Quote Franz Liebkind: [while waving a gun around] You made a fool of Hitler!
Carmen Ghia, Roger De Bris: He didn't need our help.

View Quote Carmen: I'll take your coats, and hats...and your swastikas.
Max (to Leo): You didn't tell me we were still wearing them!
Leo: I didn't notice.
Max: Sorry. Just came from a big rally, everyone was wearing one.

View Quote Leo: So what time can you get here?
Ulla: Well, Ulla wake up every morning at five AM. From five to seven, Ulla exercise. From seven to eight Ulla like to take long shower. From eight to nine Ulla eat big Swedish breakfast. Many different herrings. From nine to eleven, Ulla practice her singing und her dancing. And at eleven, Ulla like to have sex. So, what time should Ulla get here?
Leo and Max: Eleven.
Ulla: Good! Ulla will come at eleven!
Max: [holding his head in his hands] Ulla will come at eleven...
Ulla: God dag min vannina!
Leo and Max: God dag min vannina... ninna...
Ulla: God bless America!
[Ulla leaves]
Max: God bless Sweden!

View Quote Hello, the living room of renowned theatrical director Roger Debris, in an elegant eastside townhouse on a sunny Tuesday afternoon in June. Who may I say is calling?
[Got angry] Listen, you broken down old queen, he was drunk, he was hot, you got lucky, don't ever call here again!
[Roger in other room] Who was that!?
Wrong number!

View Quote Roger:Well they all just read Springtime, what'd you think of it guys?
Bryan:[all sung] If it's glamour
Scott:and Glitz
Kevin:It needs sequins
Shirley Markowitz:And tits

View Quote [singing] I see a line of beautiful girls dressed as stormtroopers each one a gem. With leather boots and whips on their hips. It's risque, dare I say, S&M! I see German soldiers dancing through France played by chorus boys in very tight pants. And wait there's more! THEY WIN THE WAR! And the dances they do will be daring and new. Turn turn kick turn, turn turn kick turn, one two three kick turn! Keep it sassy, keep it classy, keep it...

View Quote Max: I was a protege of the great Boris Tomashevsky. He taught me everything I know. I'll never forget, he turned to me on his death bed and said: "Maxella, alle menschen muss zu machen, jeden tug a gentzen kachen!"
Nun: What does that mean?
Max: Who knows, I don't speak Yiddish. Strangely enough, neither did he. But in my heart, I knew what he was saying. He was saying when you're down and out and everybody thinks you're finished, that's the time to stand up on your two feet and shout: "Who do you have to **** to get a break in this stinking town?"

View Quote May I take your hats, your coats, and your Swastikas?

View Quote Hold Me-Touch Me: I know, let's play the virgin milkmaid and the well-hung stable boy.
Max: Oh, I don't think I have the strength.
Hold Me-Touch Me: Don't worry, I'll be gentle. Oh dear, this milk is so heavy. I'll never reach the house. You there, well-hung stable boy, won't you please help me?
Max: Why of course my little dairy queen. First, I shall take your milk. Then, I shall take your VIRGINITY!

View Quote Leo: Actors aren't animals! They're human beings!
Max : Have you ever eaten with one?

View Quote Ulla wake up at five A.M. every day. From five to seven, Ulla like to exercise. From seven to eight, Ulla like to take long shower. From eight to nine, Ulla like to have big Swedish breakfast. Many different herrings. From nine to eleven, Ulla like to practice her singing and her dancing. And at eleven, Ulla like to have sex. ... What time should I get here? (Max and Leo respond synchronicly - "Eleven")

View Quote Roger: So Jason, what have you been up to?
Jason Green: For ze last 16 years I have been touring in No No Nietzsche.
Roger: Ahh, you played Nietzsche?
Jason Green: No no.
Roger: [making a face] What are you going ta sing?
Jason Green: Have you ever heard ze German band?
Roger: No
Jason Green: Zat is za name of ze song I am going to sing!

View Quote [to Ulla] Even though we're sitting down, Mr Bloom and I are giving you a standing ovation.

View Quote I must tell my birds!

View Quote Roger De Bris: [wearing a dress] I am going to the choreographers' ball this evening. There is a prize for best costume.
Carmen Ghia: We always win.
Roger De Bris: I am not so sure about this year. I am supposed to be the Grand Dutchess Anastasia, but I think I look more like the Chrysler Building.