Producers, The (2005) quotes

View Quote Roger De Bris: [wearing a dress] I am going to the choreographers' ball this evening. There is a prize for best costume.
Carmen Ghia: We always win.
Roger De Bris: I am not so sure about this year. I am supposed to be the Grand Dutchess Anastasia, but I think I look more like the Chrysler Building.

View Quote Franz: The punishment for breaking the Zigfried Oaths is dess.
Max: Dess? Is that anything like 'Death'?
Franz: Yeth!

View Quote [Going hysterical, and pointing at Bialystock] FAT! FAT! FAT-FAT-FATTY-FAT!!!

View Quote Max: Listen Roger, did you get a chance yet to read "Springtime for Hitler?"
Roger De Bris: Read it? I devoured it! It's loaded with historical goodies. I for one, for instance, never realized that the Third Reich meant Germany.
Max: Yeah, how 'bout that? Then you'll do it?
Roger De Bris: Do it? Of course not.
[Music starts]
Roger De Bris: [sung] The theatre's so obsessed
With dramas so depressed
It's hard to sell a ticket on Broadway
Shows should be more pretty
Shows should be more witty
Shows should be more...
Roger De Bris: [spoken] What's the word?
Leo: Gay?
Roger De Bris: Exactly!

View Quote [with a very high Irish accent] I'm going to get out of here before me voice gets any higher! As we say in the old country... [normal voice] TAXI!

View Quote [When he answers the door] Yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss?
Max: I-
Carmen Ghia: Ssssssssss?

View Quote Roger, We're not alone...

View Quote Leo: [Screams hysterically]
[Max runs over and splashes Leo with a glass of water]
Leo: I'M WET! I'M WET! I'M HYSTERICAL AND I'M WET!
[Max slaps Leo]
Leo: [Pauses] I'M IN PAIN! I'M WET AND IN PAIN! AND I'M STILL HYSTERICAL [Babbles]
Max: What can I do? You're making me hysterical
Leo: Get away, you're too close, you frighten me!
Max: I frighten you?!
Leo: Get down over there, sit over there!
Max: I'm sitting! I'm sitting!
Leo: [Flinches] You still look angry!
Max: I'm sorry, is this better? [Grins goofily] [In Childish, patronising voice] Who's my little accountant? Who's my little accountant? Are you my little accountant? Yes you are!
Leo: [Now calm] Thank you for smiling, that helped a great deal!

View Quote [Hysterical, as Bialystock is standing over him] You're gonna jump on me! You're gonna jump on me! I know you are, you're gonna jump on me and squash me like a bug!

View Quote Zis is no good! I'm not killing anyone!

View Quote That is not how you sing Haben Sie gehört das Deutsche band! This is how you sing Haben Sie gehört das Deutsche band!

View Quote Max: Do you know who I am?
Leo: You are Max Bialystock, King of BROADWAY!
Max: No, I am Max Bialystock - that's right!

View Quote Secretary-slash-receptionist? Okie-slash-dokie!

View Quote [signing his name] Roger Elizabeth DeBris!

View Quote [Whispered at the end of the credits] Buy Mein Kampf in paperback at Borders Bookstores... or Barnes and Noble... or online at amazon.com