Producers, The (1968) quotes
65 total quotesMax Bialystock
Multiple Characters
Roger De Bris
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Drunk: Eternally grateful... A TOAST!
Max: A TOAST!
Leo: A TOAST... to what?
Drunk: To... to toast, I love toast.
Max: To toast.
Leo: To toast.
Max: A TOAST!
Leo: A TOAST... to what?
Drunk: To... to toast, I love toast.
Max: To toast.
Leo: To toast.
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Leo: Actors are not animals! They're human beings!
Max: They are? Have you ever eaten with one?
Max: They are? Have you ever eaten with one?
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Max: It's practically a love letter to Hitler!
Leo: This won't run a week.
Max: A week?! Are you nuts? This play's gotta close on Page 4.
Leo: This won't run a week.
Max: A week?! Are you nuts? This play's gotta close on Page 4.
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Roger De Bris: Ah, Bialystock and Bloom, I presume! Heh heh, forgive the pun!
Leo: [to Max] What pun?
Max: Shut up, he thinks he's witty.
Leo: [to Max] What pun?
Max: Shut up, he thinks he's witty.
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Max: Roger, did you have a chance to read "Springtime for Hitler?"
Roger De Bris: [emerges from behind a partition wearing a dress] Remarkable, remarkable! A stunning piece of work.
Leo: [under his breath] Max... he's wearing a dress.
Max: No kidding.
Roger De Bris: Did you know, I never knew that the Third Reich meant Germany. I mean it's just drenched with historical goodies like that... Oh dear, you're staring at my dress. I should explain. We are going to the choreographer's ball tonight and there's a prize for the best costume.
Carmen Ghia: And we always win!
Roger De Bris: I don't know about tonight. I'm supposed to be the Grand Duchess Anastasia, but I think I look more like Tugboat Annie. What do you think, Mr. Bloom?
Leo: Where do you keep your wallet?
Roger De Bris: [emerges from behind a partition wearing a dress] Remarkable, remarkable! A stunning piece of work.
Leo: [under his breath] Max... he's wearing a dress.
Max: No kidding.
Roger De Bris: Did you know, I never knew that the Third Reich meant Germany. I mean it's just drenched with historical goodies like that... Oh dear, you're staring at my dress. I should explain. We are going to the choreographer's ball tonight and there's a prize for the best costume.
Carmen Ghia: And we always win!
Roger De Bris: I don't know about tonight. I'm supposed to be the Grand Duchess Anastasia, but I think I look more like Tugboat Annie. What do you think, Mr. Bloom?
Leo: Where do you keep your wallet?
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Roger De Bris: What have you done, L.S.D.?
Lorenzo St. DuBois: About six months... but I'm on probation, so it's all good, baby!
Roger De Bris: No, I mean, what do you do best?
Lorenzo St. DuBois: I can't do that here. That's why they put me away, baby!
Lorenzo St. DuBois: About six months... but I'm on probation, so it's all good, baby!
Roger De Bris: No, I mean, what do you do best?
Lorenzo St. DuBois: I can't do that here. That's why they put me away, baby!
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Ulla: Goddag på dig!
Leo: Uh, I beg your pardon?
Ulla: Goddag på dig!
Leo: Ah, gut da! Max, have you gone mad? A receptionist who can't speak English? What will people say?
Max: They'll say, "A wuma wa wa wa wa!"
Leo: Uh, I beg your pardon?
Ulla: Goddag på dig!
Leo: Ah, gut da! Max, have you gone mad? A receptionist who can't speak English? What will people say?
Max: They'll say, "A wuma wa wa wa wa!"
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Lorenzo St. Dubois: Love, love power.
I'm talking 'bout love power
The power of a little flower.
You don't think 'bout no little flowers,
Oh no, all you think about is guns.
If everybody in the world today had a flower instead of a gun,
There would be no wars. There would be one big smell-in.
Just the flowers. Hey, man, a flower.
A flower. What you do to my flower, man?
You hurt it, like everything else.
Everything else. Flowers.
[pulls out a banana, peels it, breaks it in half, throws it away, and then sits in a corner sucking on his thumb]
Max: That's our Hitler!
I'm talking 'bout love power
The power of a little flower.
You don't think 'bout no little flowers,
Oh no, all you think about is guns.
If everybody in the world today had a flower instead of a gun,
There would be no wars. There would be one big smell-in.
Just the flowers. Hey, man, a flower.
A flower. What you do to my flower, man?
You hurt it, like everything else.
Everything else. Flowers.
[pulls out a banana, peels it, breaks it in half, throws it away, and then sits in a corner sucking on his thumb]
Max: That's our Hitler!
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Hold me, Touch me: Hold me! Touch me!
Max: [pulling her into his office] Not in the hall!
Max: [pulling her into his office] Not in the hall!
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Leo: [after walking in on Max romancing Hold me, Touch me]
Leo: Oh my God!
Max: You mean "oops", don't you? Just say "oops" and get out!
Leo: Ahahahahahahahaha...
Max: Not "ahahahahahahah!" Oops!
Leo: Oops! [slams the door]
Leo: Oh my God!
Max: You mean "oops", don't you? Just say "oops" and get out!
Leo: Ahahahahahahahaha...
Max: Not "ahahahahahahah!" Oops!
Leo: Oops! [slams the door]
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Hold me, Touch me: And after that, we'll play, "The Abduction and the Cruel Rape of Lucretia", and I'll be Lucretia.
Max: And I'll be Rape!
Max: And I'll be Rape!
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Hold me, Touch me: I heard the Count fired you this morning - watch the road, watch the road.
Max: [stops making car noises] Oh, Countess, I can't take my eyes off you! How can I drive when you drive me mad? Mad! [continues making car noises]
Hold me, Touch me: Oh, Rudolpho, you dirty pig! Pull over.
Max: [stops making car noises] Oh, Countess, I can't take my eyes off you! How can I drive when you drive me mad? Mad! [continues making car noises]
Hold me, Touch me: Oh, Rudolpho, you dirty pig! Pull over.