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National Lampoon's Vegas Vacation

National Lampoon's Vegas Vacation quotes

34 total quotes

Clark Griswold
Cousin Eddie
Cousin Vicki
Dialog
Ellen Griswold
Other
Rusty Griswold




View Quote Clark: Eddie, did anyone ever tell you, you're bad luck.
Eddie: You know, those were my mother's dying words. Course, when you're covered in third degree burns and your leg's caught in a bear trap, you're bound to say weird things.
Ellen: Clark. Are you feeling lucky tonight, Sparky?
Clark: Not right now, honey. They're teaching me baccarat.
Clark: Here, make the seats good.
[begins pouring coins into the Maitre d's hand]
Maitre d' : No...gratuity...necessary, sir. Right this way.
Jilly: Kid, you made me a lot of money tonight. Hey, you like gettin' massages?
Rusty: By who?
Jilly: [sarcastically] By who...by me. Meet me in the spa tomorrow at 10 o'clock.
Clark: You need any help with the grill, Eddie?
Eddie: No thanks, Clark. Don't have one. [throws chicken onto a rock]
Audrey: OK, what happened to you last night?
Rusty: [giggles]
[Audrey and Rusty sit down to breakfast]
Audrey: Coffee
Rusty: Me, too.
Ellen: Make it three.
Clark: [to waitress] Four coffees it is.
Clark: Kids!
Audrey: Daddy, don't shout.
Clark: What do you say we each have an 'alone day', where each of us can go out and explore the city of Las Vegas in their own way.
Ellen: Clark, I don't think that's such a good...
Rusty: Thanks
Audrey: See, ya.
Clark: Don't worry, honey. You're gonna love it. See ya.
Security: Have you seen a guy named Nick Papagiorgio?
Clark: Yes, he took my wallet. He's over there.
[at Club Areola]
'Security: Your usual table, Mr. Papagiorgio?
Rusty: Not today, Jimmy.
Clark: You're in big trouble, mister.
Ellen: Clark. Are we lost?
Rusty: Yeah, dad. What block are we on?
Clark: Very funny, Rus.
Rusty: I wanna gamble.
Clark: Russell. I never want to hear those words come out of your mouth again. Gambling is a very serious business.

View Quote I'll have some of the yellow. And don't get cheap on me.
View Quote Lord, I hate this heat. It's not bad enough it makes your butt stick to the seat. And I want somethin' better...hey, everybody.
View Quote Oh, yeah. That's from when I sold my kidney. I figured with all the advancements in modern science, I'd better sell it while someone still wanted to buy it. Smartest thing I ever did, Clark.
View Quote Aw, she's got her mother's looks and her daddy's sense of balance.
View Quote No corrective lenses tonight Mr Papagiorgio?
View Quote I put a dollar in I won a car, I put a dollar in I won a car, I put a dollar in I won a car, I put a dollar in I won a car.
View Quote Clark, have you ever tried to swim with the dolphins?
View Quote Honey, these boys ain't much to look at, but, if you want a night away from your cat...
View Quote His name is not Papagiorgio. His name is Rusty Griswold and he's a C+ student!
View Quote Hard six coming out.
View Quote My garden's spittin' out 50-lb tomatoes.
View Quote ...and he want's to enter that garden, with a knowlege, and a mulch...
View Quote Hey, kids. Round-up time!
View Quote Could be worse...you could be pregnant again.