National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation quotes

57 total quotes

Clark W. Griswold
Cousin Eddie
Others

View Quote Clark: Our holidays were always such a mess.
Clark Sr.: Oh, yeah.
Clark: How'd you get through it?
Clark Sr.: I had a lot of help from Jack Daniels.

View Quote Uncle Lewis: Hey Gris, Bethany and I figured out the perfect gift for you.
Clark: Aw, you didn't have to get me anything.
Uncle Lewis: Dammit, Bethany, he guessed it.

View Quote Mr. Shirley: [Picks up the phone receiver] Get me somebody. Anybody. And get me somebody while I'm waiting.

View Quote Clark: 'Tis the season to be merry.
Mary: That's my name.
Clark: No shit.

View Quote Margo: And why is the carpet wet, Todd?
Todd: I don't know Margo.

View Quote Ellen: You set standards that no family activity can live up to.
Clark: When have I ever done that?
Ellen: Birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, funerals, holidays, vacations, graduations...

View Quote Ellen: Clark, Audrey's frozen from the waist down.
Clark: That's all part of the experience honey.

View Quote Margot: You just march over there and slug that creep in the face.
Todd: I can't just attack someone.
Margot: Alright then, if you're not man enough to put an end to this shit, then I am.

View Quote Audrey Griswold: Would it be indecent to ask the grandparents to stay at a hotel?

View Quote Eddie: [talking about Snots, Eddie's dog] If you scratch his belly Clark, he will love you till the day you die.
Clark: I really shouldn't Eddie my hands are all chapped.

View Quote Can't see the line, can you Russ?

View Quote Clark Sr: (extreme close up) SQUUUIIIIRRRREEELLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

View Quote Aunt Bethany: Is Rusty still in the navy?

View Quote Clark, I'd like to try to fumigate this here piece of furniture. If you don't mind my askin', how much did she set you back?

View Quote LOTTA SAP in here, Little full, Lotta sap!!