National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation quotes

57 total quotes

Clark W. Griswold
Cousin Eddie
Others

View Quote Aunt Bethany: [after reaching the Griswolds' house] Is this the airport Clark?

View Quote Clark: I simply solved the problem. We needed a coffin... Er, a tree. There are no lots open on Christmas Eve. Lewis burned down my tree so I replaced it as best I could. Voilà.
Ellen: Are you okay?

View Quote I dedicate this house to the Griswold Family Christmas.

View Quote Eddie: I don't know if I oughta go sailin' down no hill with nothin' between the ground and my brains but a piece of government plastic.
Clark: Do you really think it matters, Eddie?

View Quote Uncle Lewis: Hey Gris, if you're not doing anything constructive, run into the living room and get my stogeies.
Clark: Is there anything else I can do for you, Uncle Lewis?
Ellen: He's an old man. This may be his last Christmas.
Clark: If he keeps it up, it WILL be his last Christmas.

View Quote Ellen Griswold: Welcome to our home - what's left of it.

View Quote [walks in with a bound and gagged Mr. Shirley tied with a big red ribbon] Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas, Clark. [to Mr. Shirley] You about ready to do some kissing?

View Quote Ellen: Clark, I think it's be best if everyone went home... before things get worse.
Clark: Worse?! How could things get any worse? Take a look around here, Ellen! We're at the threshold of hell!!

View Quote Well I'm gonna park the cars and get the suit cases, and well, I'll be outside for the season.

View Quote [the newel post is wobbly so Clark cuts it off with a chain saw] Fixed the newel post.

View Quote Ruby Sue: Uncle Clark, are you sure you ain't Santa Claus?
Clark: I'm sure... I can't even afford to be an elf.

View Quote Clark: My cousin-in-law, whose heart is bigger than his brain...
Eddie: I appreciate that, Clark.
Clark: ...is innocent.