Napoleon Dynamite quotes

79 total quotes

Kip
Napoleon Dynamite
Rex
Uncle Rico

View Quote Bow to your sensei. BOW TO YOUR SENSEI!

View Quote Napoleon: Deb just called me. She pretty much hates me by now.
Pedro: Why?
Napoleon: Because my uncle Rico's an IDIOT.
Pedro: Do you have anything to give to her?
Napoleon: No. Not unless she likes fish.

View Quote [Napoleon hurls an orange at Uncle Rico's van, Uncle Rico stops his van, gets out his van, face to face with Napoleon, Napoleon throws an orange at Uncle Rico, Uncle Rico chases him, tackles Napoleon down, and puts Napoleon on a headlock]
Uncle Rico: Why the heck you throwin' crap at my van, Napoleon?!
Napoleon: Everybody at school thinks I'm a frickin' IDIOT because of you!
Uncle Rico: You're gonna clean my van... right now.
Napoleon: Get off of me, you bodaggot! [Napoleon hits Uncle Rico with his elbow, runs off, and climbs the fence]

View Quote [To Pedro] Just listen to your heart. That's what I do.

View Quote Your Mom goes to college.

View Quote Nunchaku skills... bowhunting skills... computer hacking skills... Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills!

View Quote Pedro: Who was that?
Napoleon: Trisha.
Pedro: Who's she?
Napoleon: My woman I'm taking to the dance.
Pedro: Did you draw her a picture?
Napoleon: Heck yes I did.

View Quote Billowy's good.

View Quote [To Rico, after he arrives home to find him trying to sell herbal breast enhancers to Starla] C'MERE, BOY!!

View Quote [To Deb] I see you're drinking 1%. Is that 'cause you think you're fat? Because you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to. Well, I have all your equipment in my locker. You should probably come get it cause I can't fit my nunchakus in there anymore.

View Quote Do the chickens have large talons?

View Quote I think you ripped my mole off!

View Quote Grandma: How was school today, Napoleon?
Napoleon: Worst day of my life, what do you think?

View Quote Sorry I'm late. I just got done taming a wild honeymoon stallion for you guys.

View Quote How 'bout some gold bracelets?