Napoleon Dynamite quotes

View Quote Napoleon: My old girlfriend from Oklahoma was gonna fly out for the dance but she couldn't cause she's doing some modeling right now.
Pedro: Is she hot?
Napoleon: See for yourself. [hands him Deb's glamor shot sample]
Pedro: Wow.
Napoleon: Yeah, I took her to the mall to get some glamor shots for her birthday one year.
Pedro: I like her bangs.
Napoleon: Me too.

View Quote Grab my arm. The other arm. MY other arm!

View Quote Napoleon, you know we can't afford the fun pack! What, do you think money grows on trees in this family? Take it back! And get some Pampers for you and your brother while you're at it.

View Quote At Rex Kwon Do, we use the buddy system. No more flying solo! You need somebody watching your back AT ALL TIMES! Second off, you're gonna learn to discipline your image. You think I got where I am today because I dressed like Peter Pan over here? [gestures toward Napoleon]

View Quote Pedro: Do you think people will vote for me?
Napoleon: Heck yes! I'd vote for you.
Pedro: Like what are my skills?
Napoleon: Well, you have a sweet bike, and you're really good at hooking up with chicks. Plus you're,like, the only guy at school who has a mustache.
Pedro: That's true.

View Quote Just break the wrist, and then walk away. Break the wrist; walk away.

View Quote Napoleon: Are you guys are, like, Pedro's cousins with all the sweet hook-ups?
Cholo #1: Si món. [translates from Spanish to "Heck yeah"]

View Quote I've been out making some sweet moolah with Uncle Rico.

View Quote I'm just getting kinda TO'd. I mean, she hasn't even sent me a full body shot yet.

View Quote [To Trisha over the phone] It took me, like, 3 hours to finish the shading on your upper lip. It's pretty much the best drawing I've ever done.

View Quote Dave: Hey, Napoleon. I hear you're in a club for girls.
Napoleon: Shut up, I am not.
Dave: Yeah? Why are you in the Happy Hands Club then?
Napoleon: 'Cause I didn't have a freakin' choice. All the other sweet clubs were filled up. Gosh!

View Quote Napoleon: [entering convenience store] Hey, how's it goin'? Those egg rolls are looking pretty good. I might get me some later, I don't have any money right now. You know, I think I'm just gonna get me one of them lotto tickets. My wife says I gotta stop but I'm just feeling real positive today and I wanted to try out my luck and —
Cashier: I think you'd better get back to class. I don't sell lotto tickets to minors.
Napoleon: I'm just gonna go get my ID. [bumps into cooler]
...
Napoleon: [outside, to Pedro] Gosh! They wouldn't sell me one. I don't look old enough. Dang!
Pedro: Do you think I look old enough?
...
Pedro: [in store] Un lotto ticket, por favor.
[the Cashier looks at Pedro's mustache, then sells him a ticket.]
...
Napoleon: [outside, scratching ticket] Yes! Three spuds! You picked a good one! That's ten dollars! Yes!

View Quote Don: Vote for Summer.
Napoleon: Yeah, right, I'm not voting for her.
Don: Then who you gonna vote for?
Napoleon: I'm votin' for Pedro Sanchez, who do you think? [Don scoffs and starts to walk away]
Napoleon: Hey, Don. Can I have one of those buttons?
[Don hands Napoleon a "Vote 4 Summer" button; Napoleon tosses it across the hall, stares at Don, then runs away.]

View Quote Kip, I reckon you know a lot about...cyberspace?

View Quote Hey, you guys wanna see my video?