Mallrats quotes

78 total quotes

Brodie Bruce
Jay
Multiple Characters
Rene
T.S. Quinn

View Quote Rene: [about why she cries in the bathroom] Do you really wanna know?
Brodie: I asked, didn't I? I'm playing the role of concerned guy.

View Quote [Brodie is trying to get into the comic book store]
Brodie: Hey, what's going on in there?
Steve-Dave Pulasti: I was warned about you. Take it easy before I have you removed from the mall.
Brodie: Warned?! What the **** are you talking about?!
Walt "Fanboy" Grover: Tell him, Steve-Dave.
Brodie: **** you, Fan Boy!
T.S.: Can you two testosterone-seething, he-man, comic book fans finish up with this display of tough guy back-and-forth? I have some questions that need answering.

View Quote Listen, not a year goes by, not a year, that I don't hear about some escalator accident involving some bastard kid which could have easily been avoided had some parent--I don't care which one--but some parent conditioned him to fear and respect that escalator!

View Quote Ivannah: Free your minds.
Brodie: I'd like to free something.
Ivannah: ****us.
Brodie: That's what I was thinking.
T.S.: She said "focus".
Brodie: Whatever.

View Quote T.S.: Jesus, how much did you smoke?
Jay: All it took was a phat, chronic blunt. These guys were lightweights.
T.S.: How much do I owe you?
Jay: My treat. As long as you promise that the next time you pop your old lady, you make her call you "Jay." Snootchie Bootchies.
T.S.: Let's hope there is a next time.

View Quote How is it that I go from the verge of hot Floridian sex with Brandi to Man of Steel coital debates with you in the food court?

View Quote [referencing Silent Bob] Human brown-eye here is a walking calamity. We're gonna have to take a pass on the stage-trashing business, otherwise he's liable to kill himself. Sorry, bro.

View Quote You ****ers think just because a guy reads comics he can't start some shit?

View Quote Fly fatass, fly!

View Quote [Modeling women's underwear] I would've made a sexy chick.

View Quote Stan Lee: They look happy, don't they?
Brodie: What, the bras?

View Quote [after hitting La Fours over the head with a baseball bat] Come, son of Jor-El! Kneel before Zod! Snootchie-bootchies. Ha-ha-ha-ha!

View Quote T.S.: How easily do you quit? Say you wind up with one of us?
Brodie: Hopefully not Rush Limbaugh over here.
Gill Hicks: Well, now, I'm not like Rush Limbaugh.
Brodie: Well, why not? Because he's fat? Now you have something against fat people, too?

View Quote [To Silent Bob] Where do you get these wonderful toys?

View Quote [Shows a Hustler spread to Silent Bob] Dude, this one looks like your mom. [Silent Bob nods]