Major League

Major League quotes

53 total quotes (ID: 369)

Harry Doyle
Jake Taylor
Lou Brown
Multiple Characters
Willie Mays Hayes


Rachel: This is a list of players that I want to invite to Spring Training this year.
Board Member #1: I've never heard of half of these guys and the ones I do know are way past their prime.
Charlie: Most of these guys never had a prime.
Board Member #2: This guy here is dead.
Rachel: Cross him off then.


Rachel Phelps: [while Wild Thing is playing] I hate this ****in' song.

Ball four...ball eight...and Vaughn has walked the bases loaded on 12 consecutive pitches. How can these guys lay off pitches that close??

[to Rexman] Hey, Rexman! Hell of a situation we got here. Two on, two out, your team down a run and you've got the chance to be the hero on national television... if you don't blow it. Saw your wife at the Capri Lounge last night. Hell of a dancer. You should be very very proud. Oh, and that guy she was with? I'm sure he's a close personal friend and all, but tell me, what was he doing wearing her panties on his head? [Rexman pops the ball straight up] Uh-oh, Rexie, I don't think this one's got the distance.

Harry: [before the playoff game] Monty, anything to add?
Monty: Ummm... no.
Harry: He's not the best colorman in the league for nothing, folks!

Haywood: Taylor what are you doin back up here?
Taylor: I couldn't cut it in the Mexican Leagues
Haywood: How's your wife and my kids?

This guy threw at his own kid in a father/son game.

Charlie Donovan: Vaughn's been looking good out there today.
Rachel Phelps: Don't worry, he'll blow it.

In case you haven't noticed, and judging by the attendance you haven't, the Indians have managed to win a few here and there, and are threatening to climb out of the cellar.

[wearing tuxedos, the whole team stands behind Home Plate]
Indians: Hello. Do you know us?
[putting on their caps]
Indians: We're a Major League Baseball team.
Jake: But since we haven't won a pennant in over 30 years, nobody recognizes us - not even in our own home town.
Eddie: That's why we carry the American Express card.
Rick: No matter how far out of first we are, it's cool. You know, it keeps us from getting shut out at our favorite hotels and restaurant-type places.
Pedro: So if you're looking for some Big-League clout, apply for that little green home-run hitter.
Roger: Look what it's done for us. People still DON'T recognize us but... [snaps his fingers]
Lou: We're contenders now.
Willie: [slides into Home Plate and holds up a green credit card] The American Express card: Don't steal home without it.

[Introducing himself] Willie Mays Hayes. I play like Mays, and I run like Hayes.

Heywood leads the league in most offensive categories, including nose hair. When this guy sneezes, he looks like a party favor.

Well, you may run like Mays, but you hit like shit.

Come on Dorn, get in front of the damn ball! Don't give me this "ole" bullshit!

Hayes is picked off! Personally I think we got hosed on that call