Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back quotes
126 total quotesJay
Randal Graves
Reg Hartner
Scooby Doo
Sheriff
Sissy
Whillenholly
Willam Black
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The hell with this. Let's go back to the station house, and cornhole us a drunk.
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[James Van Der Beek and Jason Biggs are being arrested by mistake]
James Van Der Beek: You've got the wrong guys! Doesn't anyone watch the WB?
Jason Biggs: I'm a teen idol, dammit! Don't you recognize me? Look at me. I'm the pie ****er.
Miramax Studios Security Guard Gordon: [to his buddies] Yeah, well. In prison, he'll be the pie.
James Van Der Beek: You've got the wrong guys! Doesn't anyone watch the WB?
Jason Biggs: I'm a teen idol, dammit! Don't you recognize me? Look at me. I'm the pie ****er.
Miramax Studios Security Guard Gordon: [to his buddies] Yeah, well. In prison, he'll be the pie.
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[the Scooby gang are arguing amongst themselves] Yo. You guys need to turn those frowns upside down. And I got just the thing for that. [pulls out a bag of rolled up joints] We call them Doobie Snax.
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Whillenholly: And might I add, that is one fine looking boy you are raising.
Jay: Hell yeah, that's because he's from my sperm. See, I knocked up this hot woman friend of ours that I **** on the side so as to not be all the way gay, but my tubby husband here is 100% ****. He LOVES the ****.
Jay: Hell yeah, that's because he's from my sperm. See, I knocked up this hot woman friend of ours that I **** on the side so as to not be all the way gay, but my tubby husband here is 100% ****. He LOVES the ****.
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Daphne: I think they passed out.
Fred: Great. What do we do with them now?
Shaggy: Let's cut out their kidneys and sell them to the black market and leave them in a seedy motel bathtub full of ice.
Fred: Great. What do we do with them now?
Shaggy: Let's cut out their kidneys and sell them to the black market and leave them in a seedy motel bathtub full of ice.
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[after pulling a very long pube out of his teeth] Eew, man, she had '70s bush. Damn second rule in that book should be: "Trim that shit".
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Ben Affleck: [ready to act but haven't heard "Action"] So? Action, Gus or what?
Gus Van Sant: Christ, Ben, I said I'm busy.
Gus Van Sant: Christ, Ben, I said I'm busy.
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[Willenholly and the Utah police confront Jay and Silent Bob]
Sheriff: Are you ****ing crazy? Now they may be gay, but that's not their son. That's the ape.
Whillenholly: I think I would recognize an ape if I saw one, okay? And the only thing I do recognize right now is the political fiasco I'm about to avoid here by letting this butt-****ing Brady Bunch go.
Sheriff: Are you ****ing crazy? Now they may be gay, but that's not their son. That's the ape.
Whillenholly: I think I would recognize an ape if I saw one, okay? And the only thing I do recognize right now is the political fiasco I'm about to avoid here by letting this butt-****ing Brady Bunch go.
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Jay: So, you think I could get a little kiss for good luck?
[Justice kisses him passionately]
Jay: Think I could get a little blow job for good luck?
Justice: No. Go.
Jay: ****.
[Silent Bob tries to get a good luck of his own]
Jay: Get off my Kool-Aid mother****a!
[Justice kisses him passionately]
Jay: Think I could get a little blow job for good luck?
Justice: No. Go.
Jay: ****.
[Silent Bob tries to get a good luck of his own]
Jay: Get off my Kool-Aid mother****a!
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Banky: Uh, Chaka? Hi, I'm Banky Edwards, the creator of "Bluntman and Chronic." We met a few weeks back, I'm the executive producer.
Chaka: Oh, you're the executive producer. Well, why don't you executive produce me a latte - De-Crackinate it. Okay, ****y?
Banky: Actually, it's Banky.
Chaka: No, it is ****y.
Chaka: Oh, you're the executive producer. Well, why don't you executive produce me a latte - De-Crackinate it. Okay, ****y?
Banky: Actually, it's Banky.
Chaka: No, it is ****y.
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Justice: Hi, I'm Justice.
Jay: And I'm so ****ing yours.
[Justice is almost repulsed when Jay makes a quick save]
Jay: Oh, Hi, I'm Jay and this is my hetero-life-mate, Silent Bob.
Justice: It's nice to meet you.
Jay: Justice, that's a nice name...
[aside]
Jay: Jay and Justice sitting in a tree, F-U-C-K-I-N-G...
Jay: And I'm so ****ing yours.
[Justice is almost repulsed when Jay makes a quick save]
Jay: Oh, Hi, I'm Jay and this is my hetero-life-mate, Silent Bob.
Justice: It's nice to meet you.
Jay: Justice, that's a nice name...
[aside]
Jay: Jay and Justice sitting in a tree, F-U-C-K-I-N-G...
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Banky: Well, you're rich, you're in love
[to Jay]
Banky: Well, *you're* in love. And you've both got your own monkey. What more could two guys from New Jersey want?
Jay: Well, to have all these ****s stop talking shit about us on the Internet.
Banky: What've I been telling you? There's nothing you can do about it. Well, aside from showing up at all their houses and beating the shit out of them.
[to Jay]
Banky: Well, *you're* in love. And you've both got your own monkey. What more could two guys from New Jersey want?
Jay: Well, to have all these ****s stop talking shit about us on the Internet.
Banky: What've I been telling you? There's nothing you can do about it. Well, aside from showing up at all their houses and beating the shit out of them.
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Assistant Director(GWH 2): Okay, you two. Just stand there, and react. Don't say anything!
[Points to Silent Bob]
Assistant Director(GWH 2): Especially you.
Jay: [to Silent Bob] That's pretty funny.
[Points to Silent Bob]
Assistant Director(GWH 2): Especially you.
Jay: [to Silent Bob] That's pretty funny.
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Missy: Oh my god, he just called Sissy 'Juggs'.
Chrissy: I'm on it.
[pulls out knife]
Jay: What's with the knife, we havin' cake or something?
Chrissy: Great, he's ****ed to boot.
Jay: [to Silent Bob] Dude, she called you ****ed.
Chrissy: I'm on it.
[pulls out knife]
Jay: What's with the knife, we havin' cake or something?
Chrissy: Great, he's ****ed to boot.
Jay: [to Silent Bob] Dude, she called you ****ed.
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Are we gonna have a problem... again?