Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back quotes

128 total quotes (ID: 300)

Ben Affleck
Brent
Brodie
Chaka Luther King
Chrissy
Cock-Knocker
Dante Hicks
Holden
Jay
Randal Graves
Reg Hartner
Scooby Doo
Sheriff
Sissy
Whillenholly
Willam Black


They're not talking about you. They're talking about fictional characters. FIC-TION-AL CHAR-ACT-ORS! Am I getting through to you at all?


Jay: What's twistin' this bitches tit?
Justice: Maybe it's because girls don't like to be called bitches, Jay.
Jay: They don't? How 'bout fine piece of ass?
Justice: How 'bout not.
Jay: Then what the **** am I supposed to call you?
Justice: Something sweet, ya big goof. Something nice.
Jay:...Boo Boo Kitty ****?
Justice: That's... a start.

Zoinks, yo!

Whillenholly: And might I add, that is one fine looking boy you are raising.
Jay: Hell yeah, that's because he's from my sperm. See, I knocked up this hot woman friend of ours that I **** on the side so as to not be all the way gay, but my tubby husband here is 100% queer. He LOVES the ****.

[Trying to talk his way out of a drug bust] What? I've got a wiping problem. I just stick those little pieces up my brown-eye and bam! I get no stains in my undies. What you don't believe me? Check this shit out. Spread my cheeks, so he can see the ****ing stink nuggets!

Justice: They didn't really steal the monkey. It was just a diversion so we could steal these.
[showing a bag of stolen diamonds]
Justice: And they're not the leaders of the C.L.I.T. The C.L.I.T is not real.
Whillenholly: No the clit is real. Its the female orgasm that's the myth.

Banky: Uh, Chaka? Hi, I'm Banky Edwards, the creator of "Bluntman and Chronic." We met a few weeks back, I'm the executive producer.
Chaka: Oh, you're the executive producer. Well, why don't you executive produce me a latte - De-Crackinate it. Okay, ****y?
Banky: Actually, it's Banky.
Chaka: No, it is ****y.

[clears throat] And I'll be, like, "What, you don't know ****in' Jay and Silent Bob? The ****in' mack daddys of ****in' Jersey?" And she'll be, like, "Oh, I've read on the Internet that youse guys are a couple of little [emphatically to Silent Bob] ****holes!" [both laugh]

Teen #1: Jay says you guys had a Star Wars themed wedding, and you tied the knot dressed as Storm Troopers.
Teen #2: Yeah, and he says you're the bitch and you're the butch.
Dante Hicks: I'm the BITCH?
Randal Graves: Well, if we were gay, that's certainly the way I'd see it.
Dante Hicks: Will you shut up!
Teen #1: [to Teen #2] Holy shit, dude. The honeymoon's over.

Banky: Well, you're rich, you're in love
[to Jay]
Banky: Well, *you're* in love. And you've both got your own monkey. What more could two guys from New Jersey want?
Jay: Well, to have all these ****s stop talking shit about us on the Internet.
Banky: What've I been telling you? There's nothing you can do about it. Well, aside from showing up at all their houses and beating the shit out of them.

Chaka's Production Assistant: [after asked to get a new clean latte] Here's your coffee sir, booger-free.
Chaka Luther King: [slaps it out his hands] Get that shit the **** out of here.

Assistant Director(GWH 2): Okay, you two. Just stand there, and react. Don't say anything!
[Points to Silent Bob]
Assistant Director(GWH 2): Especially you.
Jay: [to Silent Bob] That's pretty funny.

Ben Affleck: [ready to act but haven't heard "Action"] So? Action, Gus or what?
Gus Van Sant: Christ, Ben, I said I'm busy.

Tickets? Since when did they start charging for the bus? Didn't we used to ride that shit to school every morning for free?

I hope one rips the other one's shirt off and we see some ****in titties floppin around, yeah!