Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back quotes

View Quote Hey. Get the **** off her. That's my ex-girlfriend's monkey.

View Quote Hi, Ray and Rirent Rob. [Scooby laughs]

View Quote Holy ****, is that monkey waving at us? Oh, shit, It understood us! Maybe it's some kind of supermonkey. What if there's more supermonkeys up at that lab? [shouts] What if they're creating an army of them? Holy shit. It must be a conspiracy like in the X-Files... *Roswell* style! This little monkey could be the ****in' damn dirty ape responsible for the fall of the human race. In this world gone mad, we won't spank the monkey- the monkey will spank us. And after the fall of man, these monkey ****s'll start wearing our clothes and rebuilding the world in their image. Oh and only those as super smart as me will be left alive to bitterly cry - *you maniacs*! Damn yous! Goddamn yous all to hell!

View Quote I am the master of the C.L.I.T. Remember this ****ing face. Whenever you see C.L.I.T., you'll see this ****ing face. I make that shit work. It does whatever the **** I tell it to. No one rules the C.L.I.T like me. Not this little **** [referring to Silent Bob], none of you little ****s out there. I AM THE C.L.I.T. COMMANDER! Remember that, commander of all C.L.I.T.s! When it comes down to business, this is what I do. I pinch it like this. OOH you little ****. Then I rub my nose with it.

View Quote I can't belive this shit. Five hours and not a single ride. Every day people hitch to Hollywood to stop studios from making films about 'em, but when you and me try it, it's like we're trapped in a ****in' cartoon. [the Mystery Machine van from the Scooby Doo cartoons pulls up alongside Jay and Silent Bob]

View Quote I don't get out to the movies that much, but "Bluntman and Chronic" was blunt-tastic.

View Quote I film this shit, I yell cut and then I get the **** outta here back to my trailer, because I got more white girls in there than the first lifeboat of the Titanic, and they all want a part in my movie, and I got just the part for 'em!

View Quote I hope one rips the other one's shirt off and we see some ****in titties floppin around, yeah!

View Quote I'm not even supposed to be here today!

View Quote In a world gone mad, we will not spank the monkey, but the monkey will spank us.

View Quote It may not be my way, but damn if there doesn't go one happy family. All right, gang, let's just shoot some tear gas into the diner, and then when the guys come out with the monkey, we'll... ****beans. That was them, wasn't it?

View Quote Just call me Darth Balls... Bong.

View Quote Ladies, Ladies, Ladies, Jay and Silent Bob are in the hizzouse!

View Quote Nights like this... I miss dating a lesbian.

View Quote Nothing. The Internet has given everybody in America a voice. For some reason, everybody decides to use that voice to bitch about movies.