Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back quotes
126 total quotesJay
Randal Graves
Reg Hartner
Scooby Doo
Sheriff
Sissy
Whillenholly
Willam Black
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In a world gone mad, we will not spank the monkey, but the monkey will spank us.
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All you mother****ers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We're gonna **** your mothers while you watch and cry like little bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax ****s who are making that movie, we're gonna make 'em eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made 'em eat. Then all you mother****s are next. Love, Jay and Silent Bob.
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Ladies, Ladies, Ladies, Jay and Silent Bob are in the hizzouse!
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Zoinks, yo!
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I hope one rips the other one's shirt off and we see some ****in titties floppin around, yeah!
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Hey. Get the **** off her. That's my ex-girlfriend's monkey.
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[Trying to talk his way out of a drug bust] What? I've got a wiping problem. I just stick those little pieces up my brown-eye and bam! I get no stains in my undies. What you don't believe me? Check this shit out. Spread my cheeks, so he can see the ****ing stink nuggets!
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Don't you never say an unkind word about the Time. Me and Silent Bob modeled our whole ****ing lives around Morris Day and Jerome. I'm a smooth pimp who loves the pussy. And Tubby here is my black man servant. What.
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Tickets? Since when did they start charging for the bus? Didn't we used to ride that shit to school every morning for free?
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[the Scooby gang are arguing amongst themselves] Yo. You guys need to turn those frowns upside down. And I got just the thing for that. [pulls out a bag of rolled up joints] We call them Doobie Snax.
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I can't belive this shit. Five hours and not a single ride. Every day people hitch to Hollywood to stop studios from making films about 'em, but when you and me try it, it's like we're trapped in a ****in' cartoon. [the Mystery Machine van from the Scooby Doo cartoons pulls up alongside Jay and Silent Bob]
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[clears throat] And I'll be, like, "What, you don't know ****in' Jay and Silent Bob? The ****in' mack daddys of ****in' Jersey?" And she'll be, like, "Oh, I've read on the Internet that youse guys are a couple of little [emphatically to Silent Bob] ****holes!" [both laugh]
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Die, you super-monkey ****.
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Just call me Darth Balls... Bong.
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[after pulling a very long pube out of his teeth] Eew, man, she had '70s bush. Damn second rule in that book should be: "Trim that shit".