I Heart Huckabees quotes

View Quote ****abees!

View Quote [emotionless] These are the best tops around. Last time, last year - not so good. [suddenly fervent] But now, this is the truth!

View Quote You can't deal with my infinite nature, can you?

View Quote Caterine Vauban: It is inevitable to be drawn back into human drama.

View Quote Shania Twain: I eat Tofu Tuna, Brad!

View Quote Vivian Jaffe: Come, join us for mancala hour. Arriba!

View Quote Mrs. Silver: God, what are you, a bitch? You're a bitch! How many kids do you have, bitch?

View Quote Tommy Corn:[running away from Vivian and Bernard] I want my money back!
Albert Markovski: Yeah, and if I weren't pro bono, I'd want MY money back!

View Quote Vivian Jaffe: Have you ever transcended space and time?
Albert Markovski: Yes. No. Uh...time, not space. No, I have no idea what you're talking about.

View Quote Albert Markovski: The interconnection thing is definitely for real.
Tommy Corn: It is! I didn't think it wasn't! It is!
Albert Markovski: I know, I can't believe it, it's so fantastic!
Tommy Corn: It's amazing!
Albert Markovski: I know.
Tommy Corn: But it's also nothing special
Albert Markovski: Yeah, because it grows from the manure of human troubles.

View Quote Mr. Hooten: What happened to the cat, Albert?
Albert Markovski: How'd you know about my cat?
Mr. Hooten: The cat was killed by curiosity.
Albert Markovski: Oh, that cat.

View Quote Mrs. Hooten: Albert, what brought you to the philosophical club?
Albert Markovski: You mean the existential detectives?
Mr. Hooten: Sounds like a support group.
Cricket: Why can't he use the church?
Mrs. Hooten: Sometimes people have additional questions to be answered.
Cricket: Like what?
Albert Markovski: Well, um, for instance - if the forms of this world die, which is more real: the me that dies or the me that's infinite? Can I trust my habitual mind or do I need to learn to look beneath those things?

View Quote Tommy Corn: What are you doing tomorrow?
Albert Markovski: I was thinking about chaining myself to a bulldozer. Do you want to come?
Tommy Corn: What time?
Albert Markovski: Mmm... one, one-thirty.
Tommy Corn: Sounds good. Should I bring my own chains?
Albert Markovski: We always do.

View Quote Vivian Jaffe: Why don't you just tell me what your situation is?
Albert Markovski: Look, I'm not really sure I know exactly what you guys do around here, all right?
Vivian Jaffe: Well, we'll investigate and solve your case.
Albert Markovski: How?
Vivian Jaffe: If you sign a contract we'll follow you.
Albert Markovski: You'll spy?
Vivian Jaffe: Yes.
Albert Markovski: On me?
Vivian Jaffe: Yes.
Albert Markovski: Will you be spying on me in the bathroom?
Vivian Jaffe: Yes.
Albert Markovski: In the bathroom?
Vivian Jaffe: Yes.
Albert Markovski: Why?
Vivian Jaffe: There's nothing too small. You know when police find the slightest piece of DNA and build a case on it? If we might see you floss or masturbate that could be the key to your entire reality.

View Quote Mrs. Hooten: So Tommy, what do you do?
Tommy Corn: I'm a firefighter.
Mr. Hooten: Congratulations, you're a hero.
Tommy Corn: I'm no hero. We'd all be heroes if we stopped using petroleum!