Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle quotes

View Quote Dr. Willoughby: Do you actually believe that after the way you've just behaved that I would even consider recommending you for admission?
Kumar: No. I'm gonna be honest with you. The only reason I'm applying is so my dad will keep paying for my apartment. I really don't have a desire to go to med school.
Dr. Willoughby: But you have perfect MCAT scores!
Kumar: Yeah, just cause you're hung like a moose doesn't mean you gotta do porn.

View Quote Harold: I am so hungry. I'm gonna eat, like, 20 of those burgers, man.
Kumar: Dude, ****in' I will see your 20 burgers and raise you 5 orders of fries.

View Quote Harold: I want 30 sliders, 5 french fries, and 4 large cherry cokes.
Kumar: I want the same except make mine diet cokes, Chuck.

View Quote Harold: Back off **** boy, what I said him goes double for you.
J.D.: **** boy? You just call me **** boy?
Harold: Yeah, you know I did. You're just stalling 'cause you're not quick enough to think of a comeback.
J.D.: You think I'm not quick enough. Guy thinks I'm not quick enough. Well I got news for you. I am quick enough! **** boy! (raises index finger in sad attempt to flip Harold off)

View Quote Kumar: I forgot my cell phone.
Harold: You wanna run back and get it?
[both turn and look at their front door 20 feet from them]
Kumar: No, we've gone too far.

View Quote Freakshow: What the hell are you doing with my wife?
Harold: Y-you said outside that we could have sex with her!
Kumar: Shit! Shit!
Freakshow: I most certainly did not!
Harold: Yes you did!
Freakshow: Did not!
Kumar: Yes you did!
Freakshow: Oh, no, I didn't.
Kumar: You did, you did.
Freakshow: You sure?
Harold: You said it!
Freakshow: [laughing] My mistake! Well, since we're all here, how 'bout a four-some?

View Quote Harold: Do you know the show Doogie Howser, M.D.?
Officer Palumbo: Great show. God I love that show. Doogie.
Harold: Neil Patrick Harris stole my car tonight.
Officer Palumbo: Hey! NPH wouldn't do that!

View Quote Kumar: How were Katie Holmes' tits?
Goldstein: You know the Holocaust?
Kumar: Yeah?
Goldstein: Picture the opposite of that!
Kumar: Nice!

View Quote Kumar: [in surgery] Hang on a second, nurse. What we should probably use is marijuana. That'll sufficiently sedate the patient for surgery.
Male Nurse: Marijuana? But why?
Kumar: We don't have time for questions. We need marijuana now, as much of it as possible! Like a big bag of it.

View Quote Officer Palumbo: What kind of name is that anyhow? Kumar? What is that five o's or two u's?
Kumar: No, it's actually one "u".
Officer Palumbo: Yeah, bullshit.

View Quote Kumar: [whispering] Dude, look at that boil on his neck, it's pulsating!
Harold: [whispering] Shut up, dude. He probably heard what you just said.
Kumar: [whispering] No, he can't. Look at it now! Pus is coming out!
Harold: [looks at Freakshow's neck] Ugh!
Kumar: [whispering] Isn't that the sickest thing you've ever seen?
Harold: [whispering] Just shut up! He's right next to me. He can hear me talking to you He probably heard this whole conversation!
Kumar: [whispering] No, he didn't. He can't hear anything with all that crust in his ear.
[Long awkward pause]
Freakshow: [low voice]] I heard everything you said.
[Later, at Freakshow's house]
Freakshow: It's gonna take me awhile to fix your car...so if you want, you can go inside, get something to drink, wash up, **** my wife.

View Quote Kumar: So where you going to go now, Neil?
Neil Patrick Harris: [puts on sunglasses] Wherever God takes me!