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Harold  & Kumar Go to White Castle

Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle quotes

72 total quotes

Freakshow
Harold Lee
Kumar Patel
Mean Tollbooth Guy
Others




View Quote Harold: Dude, where's my car?
Kumar: Where's his car, dude?
View Quote Kumar: Do you know what the hell we had to go through after you took the car?
Neil Patrick Harris: Yeah, it was a dick move on my part. That's why I'm paying for your meal. [looks down to count money, lowers voice] Prick.
View Quote Kumar: [walks up to a bush and starts peeing] Ahh.
[Creepy Guy walks up out of nowhere and starts peeing right next to him]
Kumar: 'Scuse me, I just--
Creepy Guy: Huh?!
Kumar: I have to ask you, why'd you--wha--wha--why are you peeing right here?
Creepy Guy: What?
Kumar: I mean... why'd you pee right next to me when you could like, choose that bush, or--?
Creepy Guy: Well, this bush looked like I should pee on it. Why are you peeing on it?
Kumar: Well, no one was here when I chose this bush.
Creepy Guy: Oh, so you get to pee on it and no one else does? Huh?
Kumar: No, it's just--I just--
Creepy Guy: This your bush? You have a special bond with this bush?
Kumar: No, I just thought that--
Creepy Guy: You the king of the forest?
Kumar: I'm sorry?
Creepy Guy: What? You ****in' tree-hugger. Is this your special bush?!
Kumar: Never mind. Forget it, I really don't feel like gettin' stabbed tonight.
[they pee in silence for a bit]
Creepy Guy: [quietly] Nice pubes.
Kumar: [pauses, creeped out] Thanks.
View Quote [Kumar is licking Harold to wake him up]
Harold: What the **** are you doing?! God!
Kumar: Well, you were out cold, I figured if I started doing some gay shit you'd wake up.
Harold: Didn't we come here on a cheetah? Where's the cheetah?
Kumar: It ran away. Listen, I got some bad news and some worse news.
Harold: Okay, give me the worse news first.
Kumar: I was looking at some of the roadsigns, and it looks like the cheetah took us in a completely different direction.
Harold: What's the bad news?
Kumar: Your laptop's completely destroyed.
Harold: [shouts] How is that not the worse news?
Kumar: [calmly] The laptop situation really only affects you, whereas the White Castle situation affects us both equally.
View Quote Dr. Patel: I will not tolerate this business from you any longer. You have one more interview tomorrow morning, and if I hear from Dr. Wein that you are anything short of spectacular, I'll completely cut you off.
Kumar: Dad, come on.
Dr. Patel: Daddy is not coming on anything!
View Quote Kumar: I can't believe you were gonna ditch for the Joy Luck Club, dude. You know what their parties are like.
Harold: C'mon, what did you want me to say? I was under pressure.
Kumar: Just say no. That's all it takes.
Kumar: Here.
[hands Harold the joint]
Kumar: Take a hit of that.
View Quote Rosenberg: I think Kumar's a "fay-gele".
Goldstein: Oh, they're totally gay for each other.
Rosenberg: Hey, you wanna suck on this?
[offers Goldstein a marijuana smoking device]
Goldstein: Uh-huh. Mmm.
View Quote Extreme Sports Punk #1: Dude, that was so not extreme!
Cole: I know, Extreme Sports Punk Number One.
View Quote Hippie Student: [Kumar trying to buy pot] Here, that's sixt--80 bucks.
Kumar: 80 bucks?
Hippie Student: Yeah, 80 bucks.
Kumar: Yo, this is worth 40 tops bro!
Hippie Student: Bro? I'm not your bro, bro. Okay, and that's 80 bucks. You don't feel like getting high tonight? If you don't feel like getting high, that's cool with me because there's lots of people around here. See this guy? Hey, what's up, George? I smoke buds with George all the time.
Kumar: What kind of a hippie are you?
Hippie Student: What kind of hippie am I? Man, I'm a business hippie, I understand the concept of supply and demand.
View Quote Harold: Dude, we're so high right now!
Kumar: We're not low!
View Quote Don't You Wanna Be Cool Kid: Come on, dude. Just take one hit. Don't you wanna be cool?
I'm So High Kid: [takes drag of joint, makes a womanly cough sound]
Don't You Wanna Be Cool Kid: Hey, man, what are you doin'?
I'm So High Kid: I'm so high!
[laughs]
I'm So High Kid: Nothing can hurt me.
[puts pump-action rifle in mouth and pulls trigger]
Don't You Wanna Be Cool Kid: No-o-o!
Announcer: Marijuana kills.
Harold and Kumar crack up laughing
Kumar: I love that shit!
View Quote Kumar: Now we're in Newark, of all places. You know we're gonna get shot.
Harold: Maybe it's not as bad as they say. Maybe it's just a bunch of hype.
Kumar: Check it out. Those guys look like a lame version of us.
[two guys get jumped and beaten with a 2x4 and other weapons]
Harold, Kumar: Holy shit!
[assailants stop beating up the two guys, look up and pause, then continue with the assaults while the two men lay on the ground moaning]
Harold: Let's get the **** outta here. Go! Go! Drive! Drive!
Kumar: Yeah, that was your fault.
Harold: **** you.
Kumar: **** you.
View Quote Harold: Are those my scissors?! Dude, I trim my noise hair with those.
Kumar: Dude, I have been cutting my ass hair with them for the past six months.
View Quote Harold: [riding a cheetah] Dude, am I really high, or is this actually working?
Kumar: Both.
View Quote Goldstein: Sorry, kids. We ain't goin' nowhere. We're watching "The Gift". Supposedly Katie Holmes shows her titties in this movie.
Harold: Is that all you Jews ever think about? Tits?
Rosenberg: Katie Holmes is a nice, respectable, wholesome girl, and I'm gonna see her boobs.
Goldstein: The things I would eat out of her ass--you have no idea!
Rosenberg: Argh! That is a completely vulgar statement.
Goldstein: So is, "I wanna bang Britney Spears on the bathroom floor," but it's true.
Rosenberg: Touch?.