Druggie: [to Jeanie] You wear too much eye makeup. My sister wears too much. People think she's a whore.

Economics Teacher: In 1930, the Republican-controlled House of Representatives, in an effort to alleviate the effects of the... Anyone? Anyone? ...the Great Depression, passed the... Anyone? Anyone? The tariff bill? The Hawley-Smoot Tariff Act? Which, anyone? Raised or lowered? ...raised tariffs, in an effort to collect more revenue for the federal government. Did it work? Anyone? Anyone know the effects? It did not work, and the United States sank deeper into the Great Depression. Today we have a similar debate over this. Anyone know what this is? Class? Anyone? Anyone? Anyone seen this before? The Laffer Curve. Anyone know what this says? It says that at this point on the revenue curve, you will get exactly the same amount of revenue as at this point. This is very controversial. Does anyone know what Vice President Bush called this in 1980? Anyone? Something-d-o-o economics. 'Voodoo' economics.

Singing Telegram Nurse: I heard that you were feeling ill. Headache, fever, and a chill. I came to help restore your pluck, cause I'm the nurse who likes to...[door slammed shut]

Snooty Waiter: I weep for the future.

Snooty Waiter: I'm suggesting that you leave,... before I have to get snooty!

Boy in Police Station: Drugs?
Jeannie: Thank you, no, I'm straight.
Boy in Police Station: I mean, are you in here for drugs?
Jeannie: Why are you here?
Boy in Police Station: Drugs.
Jeannie: I don't know why I'm here.
Boy in Police Station: Why don't you go home?
Jeannie: Why don't you put your thumb up your butt?

Boy in Police Station: There's someone you should talk to.
Jeannie: If you say Ferris Bueller, you lose a testicle.
Boy in Police Station: Oh, you know him?

Cameron: [Ferris slowly pulls the Ferrari out of the garage] No, Ferris. I'm putting my foot down. You're just gonna have to think of something else. Ferris! We could call a limo! One of those stretch jobs with the TV and the bar. How about that?
Ferris: [Ferris pulls the car back slightly] Come on. Live a little!

Cameron: [Whispering to himself after hanging up from a phone call with Ferris] I'm dying.
[Phone rings, and Cameron answers]
Ferris: [over the phone] You're not dying, you just can't think of anything good to do. Now be a man! Take some Pepto Bismol and come over here!

Cameron: Ferris, my father loves this car more than life itself.
Ferris: A man with priorities so far out of whack doesn't deserve such a fine automobile.
Cameron: No. No! Apparently, you don't understand!
Ferris: Wow.
Cameron: Ferris, he never drives it! He just rubs it with a diaper!

Cameron: I don't know what I'm gonna do.
Sloane: College.
Cameron: Yeah, but to do what?
Sloane: What are you interested in?
Cameron: Nothing.
Sloane: Me neither!
Cameron: [to Ferris, who's singing on the parade float] You're crazy!
Sloane: What do you think Ferris is gonna do?
[Ferris begins singing "Twist and Shout"]
Cameron: [after a pause] He's gonna be a fry cook on Venus.

Cameron: Okay Ferris, can we just let it go, please?
Sloane: Ferris, please. You've gone too far. We're going to get busted.
Ferris: A: You can never go too far. B: If I'm gonna get busted, it is not gonna be by a guy like that.

Cameron: The 1961 Ferrari 250 GT California. Less than a hundred were made. My father spent three years restoring this car. It is his love. It is his passion...
Ferris: It is his fault he didn't lock the garage.

Cameron: What'd I do?
Ferris: You killed the car.

Economics Teacher: [taking attendance] Bueller?... Bueller?... Bueller?
Simone: Um, he's sick. My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with a girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.
Economics Teacher: Thank you Simone.
Simone: No problem whatsoever.