Dumb and Dumber

Dumb and Dumber quotes

46 total quotes (ID: 180)


Lloyd: The least you could do is level with me. What are my chances?
Mary: Not good.
Lloyd: You mean like one out of a hundred?
Mary: More like one out of a million.
Lloyd: So you're tellin' me there's a chance.

I'll tell ya where we'll go. Someplace warm. A place where the beer flows like wine. And beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano.

How come I didn't get a dildo?

No way? Thats great! We landed on the moon!

Harry, I got some beef jer....

I fell off the jetway again.

You can't triple-stamp a double-stamp!

Find a happy place, find a happy place!

Look at the fun-bags on that hose hound.

[To Harry] We're in a hole .. we're just gonna have to dig ourselves out

Just when I think you couldn't possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this...and totally redeem yourself!

Man, you are one pathetic loser! No offense.

Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something, I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.

Harry! You're alive! And you're a horrible shot!

I was robbed by a sweet old lady on a motorized cart. I didn't even see it coming!