Dazed and Confused quotes

View Quote Tony: [describing his dream] So there I am, getting it on with this perfect female body and...
Mike: What?
Tony: I can't say.
Mike: No, you can't give a build-up like that and not deliver. You know, a perfect female body, it's not a bad start.
Tony: But with the head of Abraham Lincoln. With the hat and the beard, everything.

View Quote Freshman Girl: Will you marry me?
Dawson: I don't know. What's in it for me?
Freshman Girl: Anything you want.
Dawson: Anything?
Freshman Girl: Anything.
Dawson: [opening his mouth wide] Go like this. [she opens her mouth] Do you spit or swallow?
Freshman Girl: Whatever you...like.
Dawson: Whatever I like? I would definitely marry you.

View Quote Wooderson: Say, man, you got a joint?
Mitch: No, not on me, man.
Wooderson: It'd be a lot cooler if you did.

View Quote Slater: You cool man?
Mitch: Like how?
Slater: [rolling his eyes as he walks away] OK man.
Pink: He was asking if you get high.

View Quote Dawson: Did you hear that O'Bannion flunked?
Pink: Yeah, what a dumbshit.

View Quote Dawson: There's Shavonne. I think she might still be mad at me. Watch me get something going here.
[The girls drive up]
Dawson: Hey, what's going on?
Shavonne: Hey, not much. How about you?
Dawson: Oh, a little weed, you know. There may be a beer bust later on.
Shavonne: Oh really? Cool, so I guess we'll see ya there?
Slater: All right, check ya later!
[The girls leave]
Dawson: Slate man, why are you always such a dork man?
Slater: What are you talking about man?
Dawson: [derisively] "Check ya later! Check ya later!" [laughs]
Slater: Hey man, get off my case!
Dawson: Chicks don't wanna hear that shit, man!
Slater: The chicks in our grade don't wanna hear nothin', man! The g-, the girls in our grade are all prudes, man! They're worthless little bitches! The ones who came before us, man, they were wild, man!
Dawson: Yeah, sounds to me like you just haven't gotten past the sniffin' butt stage, man, that's what that sounds like.
Slater: Hey, it's quality, not quantity, man...It's like when I get to college, man, I can't wait to get to college!
Dawson: Yeah, when I get to college, all I'm gonna do is, bang bang bangbangbangbang..

View Quote Clint: What did you just say?
Mike: What?
Clint: Just now, man. When you walked past, what'd you say?
Mike: About what?
Clint: You said, "Someone's tokin' some reefer."
Mike: No, I meant somewhere I smell some pot, you know? It was just an observation.
Clint: Oh, an observation, huh? Well who the hell are you, man? Isaac ****ing Newton?

View Quote Dawson: Hey, "Tubs". Catch. Get outta here.
[tosses a freshman a beer]
Benny: What are you wasting a beer on him for?
Dawson: What? It's not a big deal
O' Bannion: Man, this ****ing sucks! Last ****in' day of school, no ****in' party, no ****in' -- Ah!
[throws a beer out of anger]
Benny: You just wasted another ****in' beer.
O' Bannion: Ah, shut up.

View Quote Slater: This place used to be off limits, man, 'cause some drunk freshman fell off. He went right down the middle, smacking his head on every beam, man. I hear it doesn't hurt after the first couple though. Autopsy said he had one beer, how many did you have?
Mitch: Four.
Slater: You're dead, man, you're so dead. Look at the blood stains right there.

View Quote Pink: Don, have you ever thought about why we play football? How many times have you gotten laid strictly because you're a football player?
Don: I don't know. A few, probably...
Pink: A few? Well, all I'm saying is that I think we'd do just as good if we were, like, in a band or something...

View Quote Wooderson: I've been thinkin' about gettin' back in school, though, man.
Dawson: What, like, J.C. or something like that?
Wooderson: Yeah, man. But I'd just as soon keep workin', though, keep a little change in my pocket. Better than listenin' to some dipshit, doesn't know what the hell he's talkin' about, anyway!
Dawson: I know what you're talkin' about, man!
Wooderson [to Mitch]: So, you're a freshman, right? Tell me, man, how's this year's crop of freshman chicks lookin' this year?
Dawson: Wood, you're gonna go to jail very soon, man!
Wooderson: Naw, man, that's what I like about these high school girls, man; I get older, they stay the same age..

View Quote Mike: I'm just sayin', if we're gonna go out, if we're gonna drive around, we should just do something.
Cynthia: Yeah, you know, you're right, man. I'm just gonna, you know, get drunk, maybe get laid or start a fight...
Mike: I'm serious, man. We should be up for anything.

View Quote Michelle: [singing] Watch them fly... away...
Pickford: You guys know what that song is about? It's about aliens. We're the aliens, man. We're the savages.
Kyle: What, you mean that song's about that?
Slater: Yeah, man. That song is about that, man.
Kyle: About aliens?
Slater: Yeah, man. You didn't know that? This country's founded... it was founded by people who were into aliens, man. George Washington, man. He was in a cult. And the cult was into aliens, man. You didn't know that?
Kyle: No.
Slater: Oh, man, they were way into that type of stuff, man.

View Quote Kaye: You know, you guys were in class trying to list all the "Gilligan's Island" episodes without even a hint of irony.
Shavonne: What the hell are you talking about, girl?
Kaye: You weren't thinking about it, were you?
Shavonne: Gilligan's Island?
Kaye: It's what's called a male pornographic fantasy.
Shavonne: Oh my...
Kaye: Think about it. You're basically alone on a deserted island with two readily available women. One a seductive sex-godess type, the other a healthy girl-next-door type with a nice butt. So guys have it all, the madonna and the whore. Women get nothing; we get a geek, an overweight middle-aged guy, some nerdy scientific type, I mean...
Jodi: The professor's sexy.

View Quote Hirschfelder: What the hell are we doing? I was gettin' there. Man, I had my hand up her shirt.
Carl: You were gettin' there? You hear that, he was gettin' there. Son, you wouldn't know what to do even if you had gotten there, so don't worry about it.
Hirschfelder: Just because you guys are striking out...
Tommy: Grow up, boy. That was our last junior high party.
Carl: That's right. We're in the big time now. We're freshmen. Where all the girls be putting out. Your days of fooling around with doing tongue all night are over.