The Dark Knight

The Dark Knight quotes

128 total quotes (ID: 150)

Alfred Pennyworth
Bruce Wayne/Batman
Commissioner Gordon
Harvey Dent/ Two-Face
Rachel Dawes
The Joker


[Gordon is on the roof standing by the lit Batsignal, looking at it painted on the clouds, as Det. Ramirez brings him coffee]
Ramirez: You expecting him to show?
Gordon: He often doesn't.
Ramirez: Why wouldn't he show?
Gordon: Hopefully... [sips his coffee] ...because he's busy.
Ramirez: Then why do you light it?
Gordon: I just like to remind people he's out there.
[We see a montage of people looking up at the signal from around the city; two criminals beside a car planning a crime see the signal and one gets nervous and runs off; then we see the Chechen with his crew at a parking garage looking at the signal]
The Chechen: That is why we bring dogs!


[Gordon walks into the darkened interrogation room where the Joker calmly sits at a table]
Joker: [drawling mockingly] Evening, Commissioner.
Gordon: [after sitting down] Harvey Dent never made it home.
Joker: Of course not.
Gordon: What have you done with him?
Joker: [innocently] Me? I was right here! [shows handcuffs] Who did you leave him with, hm? Your people? Assuming, of course, that they are still your people...and not Maroni's. Does it depress you, Commissioner, to know just how alone you really are? Does it make you feel responsible for Harvey Dent's current predicament?
Gordon: Where is he?
Joker: What's the time?
Gordon: What difference does that make?
Joker: Well, depending on the time, he could be in one place, or several.
Gordon: [uncuffs the Joker and gets up to leave] If we're gonna play games, I'm gonna need a cup of coffee.
Joker: [sarcastically] Ah, the "good cop, bad cop" routine?
Gordon: [as he leaves the room] Not exactly. [closes the door]
[The lights suddenly turn on, revealing Batman standing behind the Joker, who gets his head smashed into the table]
Joker: Never start with the head, the victim gets all fuzzy. He can't feel the next...
[Batman cuts him off by smashing the Joker's knuckles with his fist]
Joker: [comically waiting to register the pain] See?
Batman: You wanted me? Here I am.
Joker: I wanted to see what you'd do. And you didn't disappoint. You let 5 people die. Then you let Dent take your place. Even to a guy like me, that's cold.
Batman: Where's Dent?
Joker: Those mob fools want you gone so they can get back to the way things were. But I know the truth. There's no going back. You've changed things...forever.
Batman: Then why'd you wanna kill me?
Joker: [laughs hysterically] I don't wanna kill you! What would I do without you? Go back to ripping off mob dealers? No. No...no. You...you complete me.
Batman: You're garbage who kills for money.
Joker: Don't talk like one of them, you're not! Even if you'd like to be. To them, you're just a freak–like me! They need you right now. When they don't...they'll cast you out. Like a leper. See, their morals, their code: it's a bad joke. They're dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these, uh...civilized people, they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster; I'm just ahead of the curve.
[Batman grabs the Joker across the table]
Batman: Where's Dent?
Joker: You have all these rules, and you think they'll save you.
[Batman slams the Joker against the wall]
Commissioner Gordon: [Looking through the glass at Batman and the Joker] He's in control.
Batman: I have one rule.
Joker: Ooh, then that's the rule you'll have to break to know the truth.
Batman: Which is?
Joker: The only sensible way to live in this world is without rules. And tonight you're gonna break your one rule.
Batman: I'm considering it.
Joker: No. You're gonna have to play my little game if you want to save one of them.
Batman: "Them?"
Joker: You know, for a while there, I thought you really were Dent. The way you threw yourself after her...[laughs]
[This comment throws Batman into a fit of rage; he flips the Joker onto the table and wedges the chair against the door handle so no one else can get in]
Joker: [laughs] Look at you go. Does Harvey know about you and his little bunny?
[Batman smashes The Joker's head against the glass window]
Batman: WHERE ARE THEY?!
Joker: [adopts a lecturing tone] Killing is making a choice...
[Batman punches The Joker in the face]
Batman: WHERE ARE THEY?!
Joker: You choose between one life or the other. Your friend the District Attorney. Or his blushing bride to be.
[Batman punches The Joker in the face again as The Joker laughs hysterically through all of it]
Joker: You have nothing–nothing to threaten me with, nothing to do with all your strength.
[Batman picks The Joker up by his shirt]
Joker: Don't worry, I'm gonna tell you where they are. Both of 'em. And that's the point: you'll have to choose. He's at 250 52nd Street. And she's at...Avenue X at Cicero.
[Batman storms out]
Gordon: Which one of them are you going after?
Batman: RACHEL! [speeds off on the Batpod]
Gordon: We'll get Dent! [to the other police] We're going to 250 52nd Street!

[Harvey Dent and Rachel are having a quiet date a very expensive upscale restaurant]
Harvey: It took me three weeks to get a reservation. And I had to tell them I work for the government.
Rachel: Really?
Harvey: The City health inspector isn't afraid to pull strings.
Bruce: [appearing seemingly out of nowhere and acting surprised] Rachel! Fancy that.
Rachel: Yeah, Bruce. [skeptically] Fancy that.
Bruce: [introducing the blonde trailing him] Rachel, Natasha. Natasha, Rachel.
Rachel: Natasha? Are you the...
Bruce: Prima ballerina for the Moscow ballet.
Rachel: Wow, Harvey's taking me next week.
Bruce: [thinly veiling a slight insult] Really...so you're into...ballet?
Rachel: Bruce, this is Harvey Dent.
[Harvey and Bruce shake hands]
Harvey: The famous Bruce Wayne. Rachel's told me everything about you.
Bruce: I certainly hope not. So let's put a couple of tables together.
Harvey: [looks around] I don't think they'll let us.
Bruce: Well, they should. I own the place. [motions with his hand for someone to move a table]

[In a video delivered to news media by the Joker, where he has kidnapped one of the fake "batmen"]
Joker: Tell them your name.
Brian Douglas: [nervously] Brian Douglas.
Joker: [giggling] Are you the real Batman?
Brian Douglas: N-no.
Joker: [whining] No? No? Then why do you dress up like him? [playing with the fake mask] Woo hoo hoo hoo! [giggling]
Brian Douglas: He's a symbol that we don't have to be afraid of scum like you.
Joker: Yeah...you do, Brian. You really do. Yeah...
[Brian whimpers in terror]
Joker: Shh shh shh shh. [pets Brian's face] So you think Batman's made Gotham a better place? Hm? Look at me...look at me! [turns camera to his face] You see, this is how crazy Batman's made Gotham. You want order in Gotham? Batman must take off his mask and turn himself in. Oh, and every day he doesn't, people will die...starting tonight. I'm a man of my word.
[Joker laughs hysterically as Brian screams]

[In the holding tank at the police station, one of the Joker's henchman is complaining of stomach pains]
Henchman: Please, my insides hurt.
Cop #1: I don't really care. Back away.
Henchman: The boss said he'd make the voices go away. He said he'd go inside and replace 'em with bright lights...like Christmas!
Cop #1: You're outta your mind, pal. Back off.
[The henchman collapses onto the ground and starts having convulsions]
Cop #1: We need a medic in the holding tank. Come on, get the door open. [enters the holding tank and yells at the other inmates] You guys back off!
[The medic examines the henchman's belly, which has what appears to be a rectangle-shaped bruise with a wire attached]
Cop #2: What's that? Jeez.
Medic: He's got some kind of a...contusion.

[Lucius has just explained to Bruce a new cell phone sonar technology developed by Wayne Enterprises]
Bruce: Sonar? [getting excited] Just like a...
Lucius: [cutting him off in a "don't get any ideas" tone] ...A submarine, Mr. Wayne. Like a submarine.

[Lucius is showing Bruce the equipment he will need to successfully abduct Lau in Hong Kong]
Lucius: Now, for high altitude jumps, you're gonna need oxygen and stabilizers. I must say, compared to your usual requests, jumping out of an airplane is pretty straightforward. [opens up a case containing the oxygen mask and tanks]
Bruce: What about getting back into the plane?
Lucius: [looks at Bruce] I'd recommend a good travel agent.
Bruce: Without it landing.
Lucius: Now that's more like it, Mr. Wayne.

[Lucius then shows Bruce the new Batsuit and describes its features; Bruce picks up a gauntlet and accidentally causes the projectiles to fire into a metal cabinet]
Lucius: Perhaps you should read the instructions first.
[Bruce looks slightly sheepish as he puts the gauntlet back]
Lucius: Now, this new armor is lighter, so you'll be able to move more easily, but there is a tradeoff in that you'll have less protection and be more vulnerable to bullets and knives.
Bruce: How will it hold up against dogs?
Lucius: [with sarcasm] We talking rottweilers or chihuahuas? [Bruce gives him a dirty look] Should do fine against cats.

[Maroni gets into his cars as he heads out of Gotham]
Sal Maroni: [to the driver] Don't stop for lights, cops, nothin'. [notices that Two-Face is sitting beside him in the car]
Two-Face: Going to join your wife? You love her.
Sal Maroni: [gulps] Yes.
Two-Face: You ever imagined what it would be like to listen to her die?
Sal Maroni: Look, take it up with the Joker. He killed your woman. He made you...like this.
Two-Face: The Joker's just a mad dog. I want whoever let him off the leash. I took care of Wuertz. Now, who was your other man inside Gordon's unit who picked up Rachel? It must've been someone she trusted.
Sal Maroni: Look, if I tell you, will you let me go?
Two-Face: It can't hurt your chances.
Sal Maroni: It was Ramirez.
[Two-Face smiles and points his gun at Maroni]
Sal Maroni: But you said...
Two-Face: I said it couldn't hurt your chances. [flips his coin: it's "heads"] You're a lucky man. [flips it again: "tails"] But he's not.
Sal Maroni: Who?
Two-Face: [buckles seatbelt] Your driver. [shoots the driver; the car crashes]

[One of the clowns has cracked open the safe]
Clown (safecracker): They wired this thing up with like 5,000 volts. What kind of bank does that?
Clown (gunman): A mob bank. I guess the Joker is as crazy as they say. Where's the alarm guy?
Clown (safecracker): The boss told me that when the guy was done, I should take him out. One less share, right?
Clown (gunman): Funny. He told me something similar.
Clown (safecracker): What? [turns around and realizes] No, no!
[The gunman shoots him]

[One of Wayne Enterprises' accountants has traced the money and figured out that Bruce Wayne must be Batman, and confronts Lucius Fox with schematics of the Wayne Enterprises prototype Tumbler, which is obviously the Batmobile]
Coleman Reese: I want $10 million a year, for the rest of my life.
Lucius: Let me get this straight. You think that your client, one of the wealthiest, most powerful men in the world, is secretly a vigilante who spends his nights beating criminals to a pulp with his bare hands...and your plan is to blackmail this person? [pauses, smiles] Good luck.
[The accountant slowly realizes what Wayne/Batman could do to him. He gets up from his seat and leaves the schematics on Fox's desk]
Coleman Reese: You can...keep these...
[Lucius calmly goes back to reading his paperwork]

[Part of the opening scene; "Bank heist"]
Clown (driver): Three of a kind. Let's do this.
Clown (gunman): That's it? Three guys?
Clown (driver): Two guys on the roof, every guy gets his share. Five shares is plenty.
Clown (gunman): Six shares. Don't forget the guy who planned the job.
Clown (driver): He thinks he can sit this out and still get his slice? I know why they call him "the Joker".
[Camera cuts to the two guys up on the roof]
Clown (alarm guy): So, why do they call him "the Joker"?
Clown (safecracker): I heard he wears make-up.
Clown (alarm guy): Make-up?
Clown (safecracker): Yeah, to scare people. You know, war paint.
Clown (alarm guy): [tampering with the bank's alarm system] Here comes the silent alarm...and there it goes. That's funny; it didn't dial out to 9-1-1. It was trying to reach a private number.
Clown (safecracker): Is it a problem?
Clown (alarm guy): Nah, I'm done here.
[The safecracker shoots him]

[Sal Maroni, the Chechen, and various other mobsters are eating at a restaurant while watching Harvey Dent announcing the detainment of Lau on the news]
The Chechen: So, with word out, we hire the clown? He was right. We need to fix real problem.
[Gordon walks into the restaurant, with a satisfied look on his face]
Gordon: [referring to Dent] Our boy does look good on the tube.
Sal Maroni: You sure you wanna embarrass me in front of my friends, Lieutenant?
Gordon: Oh, don't worry. They're coming too.
[At this moment, dozens of police enter the restaurant and arrest all of the mobsters and their accomplices]

[The Chechen is called by the Joker to an old tanker ship at the docks, inside he sees the Joker acting psychotic and antagonizing a tied-up Lau on top of the Joker's massive stacks of his half of the mob's cash]
Joker: [to the gagged and tied Lau; imititating a plane] Having fun?! [throws wads of cash at him] I told you I'm a man of my word.
The Chechen: [as the Joker climbs down] What are you planning to do with all your money?
Joker: You see, I'm a guy of simple taste. [pulls out his gun] I enjoy dynamite, and gunpowder, and gasoline! [Joker's men douse the money with gasoline and others hold the Chechen back as he tries to stop them] And do you know what they all have in common? [takes the Chechen's cigar] They're cheap.
The Chechen: What are you doing?!
Joker: [throws the cigar onto the money, which bursts into flames] Like I said, I'm a man of my word: I'm only burning my half. All you care about is money. This town deserves a better class of criminal, and I'm gonna give it to 'em. Tell your men they work for me now. This is my city.
The Chechen: They won't work for a freak.
Joker: [exaggerating the mob boss's accent] Frrreeaakk. [pulling out a small knife] Why don't we cut you up into little pieces and feed you to your pooches, hmm?[Joker's thugs pull away the mob boss] And then we'll see how loyal a hungry dog really is! [Reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a cell phone, and begins dialing numbers] It's not about money, it's about sending a message. Everything burns!
[Interrupting the news cast in which Coleman Reese is trying to announce Batman's identity] Joker: I had a vision of a world without Batman. The mob ground out their little profit, and the police tried to shut them down one block at a time. And it was so...boring. I've had a change of heart. I don't want Mr. Reese spoiling everything, but why should I have all the fun? Let's give someone else a chance. If Coleman Reese isn't dead in sixty minutes, then I blow up a hospital. [hangs up the phone]

[The Chechen is meeting with the Scarecrow in a parking garage to discuss a drug deal]
The Chechen: [shows him an addict, who is hallucinating under the effects of fear toxin] Look what your drugs did to my customers.
The Scarecrow: [sitting in the shadow of the back of his van, which is surrounded by his men] Buyer beware. [gets up and moves forward into the light giving us our first sight of him] I told you my compound would take you places. I never said they'd be places that you wanted to go.
The Chechen: My business is repeat customers!
The Scarecrow: You don't like what I have to offer, then you can buy from someone else...assuming Batman left anyone to buy from.
[The Chechen's dogs start barking and everyone looks around]
The Chechen: My dogs are hungry!
[A figure that looks like Batman appears in the shadows]
The Chechen: Pity there's only one of you.
[But then more appear, with guns; the Chechen sets his dogs on one of them and a gun fight ensues]
The Scarecrow: That's not him. [sprays one of the fake "batmen" with his fear toxin, incapacitating him]
[The Tumbler crashes through the wall of the garage]
The Scarecrow: That's more like it.