Caddyshack quotes

107 total quotes

Multiple Characters
Spaulding Smails
Ty Webb

View Quote Licensed to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. Man, free to kill gophers at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit - ever. They're like the Viet-Cong...Varmint-Cong. So you have to fall back on superior firepower and superior intelligence. And that's all she wrote.

View Quote I smell varmint poontang, and the only good varmint poontang, is dead varmint poontang, I think.

View Quote Wait up, girls. I've got a salami I've got to hide.

View Quote I'll slack you off, you fuzzy little foreigner and I'll fill your bagpipes with Wheatena!

View Quote
I have to laugh because I've often asked myself my foe, my enemy, is an animal. In order to conquer him I have to think like an animal and whenever possible to look like one. I've got to get inside this dude's pelt and crawl around for a few days. Who is the gopher's ally? His friend? The harmless squirrel and the friendly rabbit. I'm going to use you guys to do my dirty work for me.

View Quote [aiming with a rifle] FREEZE, GOPHER!!!

View Quote Thank you very little.

View Quote Don't worry about this one. If you miss it, we lose.

View Quote Well..[looks at his bare wrist as if checking a watch]..I've got a "thing"..

View Quote You gonna eat your fat?

View Quote Doodie!

View Quote Ahoy, polloi!

View Quote Mrs. Smails: Well, you two look like a couple of boogies.

View Quote Maggie O'Hooligan: Well, t'anks for nothing!

View Quote Lou Loomis: Gentlemen, we all know this is illegal and against Club practice and I'd like to ask at this time if you all agree to waive all sanction against said referee or anything that might get me fired.