Blazing Saddles quotes

View Quote Well, my name's Jim. But most people call me...Jim.

View Quote Another twenty five years and you'll be able to shake their hands in broad daylight.

View Quote You will merely be risking your lives, whilst I will be risking an almost-certain Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actor.

View Quote What in the wide wide world of sports is a-goin' on here?! I hired you people to try to get a little track laid, not to jump around like a bunch of Kansas City ****s!

View Quote Horses! We can't afford to lose no horses you dummy! Send a couple-a ****s.

View Quote Dang, that was lucky! God darn near lost a $400 handcart!

View Quote An uppity **** went and hit me on the head with a shovel.

View Quote Gaw-lee, Mr. Lamarr: you use your tongue purdier than a $20 w***e!

View Quote (when confronted with a toll booth) ... "Le Petomane Through Way"? Now what'll that asshole think of next? Has anybody got a dime? (cowboys grumble) Somebody's gotta go back and get a shitload of dimes!

View Quote Come on, boys! The way you're lollygaggin' around here with them picks and them shovels, you'd think it was a hundert an' twenty degree!...Can't be more than a hundert an' fourteen!

View Quote (after worker faints from the heat) Dock that ch***k a day's pay for nappin' on the job.

View Quote Come on boys, where's your spirit? I don't hear no singin'. When you were slaves, you sang like birds. Come on, how about a good old fashioned **** work song!

View Quote Lily: Ooh, a wed wose. How...womantic.

View Quote [The people are about to shoot Bart at his opening speech - until he takes himself hostage]
Bart (gruff voice, hauling himself by the collar): Hold it! The next man that makes a move, the **** gets it.
Dr. Johnson: Hold it men--he's not bluffing! (all but one man drop their guns)
Dr. Samuel Johnson:Listen to him men, he's just crazy enough to do it!
Bart (gruff, to the one with a gun still): Drop it, or I swear I'll blow this ****'s head ALL OVER THIS TOWN!
Bart (pickaninny voice): Oh, Lawdy-Lawd, he's desp'at! Do what he say, do what he saaaayyyy... do what he saaaayyyy...(the man slowly drops the gun)
Harriet Johnson: Isn't anyone going to help that poor man? [Bart is slowly moving towards the sheriff's office, still holding himself hostage]
Dr. Samuel Johnson: Hush, Harriet! That's a sure way to get him killed!
Bart (pickaninny voice): Oh, Oh he'p me! He'p me! He'p me! Somebbody He'p me! He'p me! He'p me! He'p me! (gruff voice) Shut up! [He covers his mouth and pushes his way inside the office] (normal voice, to himself) Oh, baby, you are so talented. And they are so dumb!

View Quote Sheriff Bart: So, since I am your host, and you are my guest. What's your pleasure? What would you like to do?
The Waco Kid: Oh I don't know...play chess...screw...
Bart: Well, let's play chess!