Well, my name's Jim. But most people call me...Jim.

Another twenty five years and you'll be able to shake their hands in broad daylight.

You will merely be risking your lives, whilst I will be risking an almost-certain Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actor.

What in the wide wide world of sports is a-goin' on here?! I hired you people to try to get a little track laid, not to jump around like a bunch of Kansas City faggots!

Horses! We can't afford to lose no horses you dummy! Send a couple-a niggers.

Dang, that was lucky! God darn near lost a $400 handcart!

An uppity nigger went and hit me on the head with a shovel.

Gaw-lee, Mr. Lamarr: you use your tongue purdier than a $20 whore!

(when confronted with a toll booth) ... "Le Petomane Through Way"? Now what'll that asshole think of next? Has anybody got a dime? (cowboys grumble) Somebody's gotta go back and get a shitload of dimes!

Come on, boys! The way you're lollygaggin' around here with them picks and them shovels, you'd think it was a hundert an' twenty degree!...Can't be more than a hundert an' fourteen!

(after worker faints from the heat) Dock that chink a day's pay for nappin' on the job.

Come on boys, where's your spirit? I don't hear no singin'. When you were slaves, you sang like birds. Come on, how about a good old fashioned nigger work song!

Lily: Ooh, a wed wose. How...womantic.

[The people are about to shoot Bart at his opening speech - until he takes himself hostage]
Bart (gruff voice, hauling himself by the collar): Hold it! The next man that makes a move, the nigger gets it.
Dr. Johnson: Hold it men--he's not bluffing! (all but one man drop their guns)
Dr. Samuel Johnson:Listen to him men, he's just crazy enough to do it!
Bart (gruff, to the one with a gun still): Drop it, or I swear I'll blow this nigger's head ALL OVER THIS TOWN!
Bart (pickaninny voice): Oh, Lawdy-Lawd, he's desp'at! Do what he say, do what he saaaayyyy... do what he saaaayyyy...(the man slowly drops the gun)
Harriet Johnson: Isn't anyone going to help that poor man? [Bart is slowly moving towards the sheriff's office, still holding himself hostage]
Dr. Samuel Johnson: Hush, Harriet! That's a sure way to get him killed!
Bart (pickaninny voice): Oh, Oh he'p me! He'p me! He'p me! Somebbody He'p me! He'p me! He'p me! He'p me! (gruff voice) Shut up! [He covers his mouth and pushes his way inside the office] (normal voice, to himself) Oh, baby, you are so talented. And they are so dumb!

Sheriff Bart: So, since I am your host, and you are my guest. What's your pleasure? What would you like to do?
The Waco Kid: Oh I don't know...play chess...screw...
Bart: Well, let's play chess!