Best in Show

Best in Show quotes

41 total quotes (ID: 657)

Buck Laughlin
Max Berman
Meg Swan
Multiple Characters
Stefan Vanderhoof


Christy Cummings: We started this magazine, 'American Bitch'. It's a focus on the issues of the lesbian pure bred dog owner.


Fay Berman: [yelling at her husband who is trying to coax their son down from the roof] Don't look him in the eye! It challenges him! He doesn't like that!

Hamilton Swan: Honey, I'm thinking of switching to the mock turtleneck?
Meg Swan: Is that not breathing?
Hamilton Swan: Well, it's breathing now, but it'll be hot down there. I could go with the lambswool, but then again, you'll see a lot of khaki down there and this merlot looks good with the gray.

Buck Laughlin: Tell me, do you know the difference between a rectal thermometer and a tongue depressor?
Nurse: Uh, no.
Buck Laughlin: Remind me never to come to you for a physical!

Hotel Manager: We have you down for a queen.
Scott Donlan: What are you suggesting... my dear man?

Stefan Vanderhoof: [at the butcher] Now, Tyrone would like some of those beef kidneys so we'll have a half pound of those.
Scott Donlan: No, not the kidneys, it's the membranes, I don't wanna have to pull those things off.
Stefan Vanderhoof: [rolls eyes] I'll take care of the membranes.
Scott Donlan: [to the butcher] I mean, Randy, you could pull the membrane off.
Stefan Vanderhoof: Will you stop it? So, we'll have a half pound of the kidneys, a half pound of the salmon.
Scott Donlan: And do me a favor, will you? Just get out of those meat sticks; I just wanna hold it.

Gerry Fleck: [after Scott introduces himself as Mary and shows them the pants he hand-stitched] Well you must be very "proud Mary".
Scott Donlan: Oh my goodness. Who are you all of a sudden?
Stefan Vanderhoof: Good baby boomer gag.
Cookie Fleck: Who's that in the burgundy jacket? Mr Hip.

Gerry Fleck: [On why he can't dance] I can't dance, I can't dance, I've got two left feet!
Cookie Fleck: I thought he was kidding.
Gerry Fleck: But I wasn't. I was born with two left feet.

Gerry Fleck: She had dozens of boyfriends.
Cookie Fleck': Hundreds.
Gerry Fleck: Hundreds?
Cookie Fleck: Yeah, hundreds.
Gerry Fleck: Well, I did not know that.

Gerry Fleck: [talking about Scott's leather trousers] Do you appreciate the amount of work that went into this?
Scott Donlan: I ought to, I did it myself. I did it, I did it myself. I bored him to death, talked about it non-stop.
Stefan Vanderhoof: Well that is six months, six months working with leather and red thread. How much fun was he to be with?

Stefan Vanderhoof: [talking about the first time he saw Scott showing a dog] They had the same prance, the same rhythm, it was like they were two members of the same body.
Scott Donlan: I knew a guy who had two members on the same body, dated him for about a half hour, got so exhausted. I'm sorry, go on, you were telling a story?