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Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me

Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me quotes

52 total quotes

Austin Powers
Deleted Scenes
Doctor Evil
Fat Bastard

First things first. Where's your shitter?! I've got a turtle head poking out!

Austin: [Looking through binoculars around neck] Dr. Evil's headquarters is just over that next ridge.
Felicity: Let me look. [Pulls binoculars, with Austin, across]
Austin: Arrgh!
Felicity: Damn it! [Pulls binoculars down] How do we get in?
Austin: [Stuck in Felicity's cleavage] Hello, Mummy. Mummy, can I have some chocolate? I want some Mars bars!
Felicity: Austin?
Austin: Don't smack my bottom, mummy!
Felicity: Austin?
Austin: [Pulls himself up] Sorry, love. I got stuck in your dirty pillows. Hmmm...
Felicity: Let's look at the map. [Drags Austin, by the binoculars, into a tentpole.]
Austin: Oh, blimey!

Mr. English Colonel, telling me to lose weight... Oh I'm a hard case he says, well listen up Sonny Jim, I ate a baby! Oh aye, baby! The other other white meat. Baby, it's what's for dinner!

Get in my belly!

Robin Swallows: My name is Robin Swallows, maiden name Spitz.
Austin: Well, which one is it, baby, Spitz or Swallows?

I can't believe Vanessa, my bride, my one true love, the woman who taught me the beauty of monogamy, was a fembot... all along. Wait a tick. That means I'm single again! Oh, behave! (laughs and claps with the fembot hand, then throws it away) YEAH!

Dr. Evil: Fire the laser!
[shows a clip of the UFO from "Independence Day" blowing up the White House]
The President: [ducks under the desk] Damage report! Damage report!
[the staff realizes everything's okay]
General: It's okay. Everything's okay.
Dr. Evil: Actually, that was just a clip from the movie "Independence Day", but the real laser would be a lot like that. Yeah.

[Austin chases Dr. Evil who is wearing a space suit with helmet]
[Austin shoots and hits Dr. Evil in his thigh]
Austin: Gotcha!
[Dr.Evil sits up and switches on his speaker unit]
Dr.Evil: Owww! You shot me, you a-hole!
[Dr.Evil switches off his speaker unit]
Austin: And now I'm going to kill you!
[Dr.Evil switches on his speaker unit]
Dr.Evil: But before you do...
[Dr.Evil stands up and in a deep voice]
Dr.Evil: Know this. [pause]
Dr.Evil: Austin. [Heavy, Darth Vader style breathing/voice] I am your father.
Austin: Really?
Dr.Evil: [normal voice] No. Not really. I can't back that up.

Mini-Me, are you hungry? Something to eat? Not even a Hot Pocket? An Eggo?

Dr. Evil: [about his new "laser"] You see, I've turned the moon into what I like to call a "Death Star".
[Scott snickers]
Dr. Evil: What?
Scott: Oh, nothing, Darth.
Dr. Evil: What did you call me?
Scott: Nothing. [pretends to sneeze] Ripoff.
Dr. Evil: Bless you.

(After Felicity has kicked him in the genitals) Oh-h-h-h-h-h-h-h! Right in the Mummy-Daddy button!

Fat Bastard: You want some chicken? I have more!
Felicity: No, thanks...
[Fat Bastard rolls over to get more food at the side of his bed. Felicity takes a homing device out of her purse and notices an opening in his ass]
Basil: [voice-over, via Felicity's memory] Remember, by any means necessary.
[Felicity sticks it in his anus]
Fat Bastard: Oooooh, frisky are we? Give it up! [He rolls on top of her and she yelps]

Felicity: What do you think of these, my man?
[Felicity exposes her breasts to the guard]
Guard: Mommy!
[Guard rushes foward and plunges to his death in hot magma]
Austin: What a... burn. [laughs]
Austin: That sort of thing could get a man... fired. [laughs]
Austin: I think he was... hot... for... you. [laughs]
Felicity: That's enough.
Austin: Yeah.

[To Mini-Me] Come here! I'm bigger than you, I'm higher in the food chain! Get in my belly!

Fat Bastard: Christ Almighty, it smells terrible in here.
Dr. Evil: It's the volcanic sulphurous emissions. We've put up some air fresheners.
Fat Bastard: Great, now it smells like someone took a shit in a pine tree.