Austin Powers in Goldmember quotes

View Quote May I preshent to you, the very sexual, the very toit, Austin Power's fahza!

View Quote And that'sh the vay, uh-huh, uh-huh, I like it! [mutters] KC and the Sunshine Band.

View Quote And that, for you, ish bad newsh bearsh! [mutters] Walter Matthau.

View Quote [last words]Fahza, Fahza, Fahza, Fazha, Fazha can you hear me... Fazha, Fazha!!

View Quote [Holding sumo opponent's crotch] You know what my favorite Helen Hunt movie is? Twister! [Twists hand]

View Quote Are we done here? I've got to take a crap.

View Quote [Looking down at the toilet] What the--? I did not have any corn!

View Quote I hope my wire team is ready-y-y!

View Quote Tom Cruise: Yeah, baby!
Steven Spielberg: (When Austin says he should change the opening credits) Yeah, well (Holds up an Oscar) my friend here - he thinks it's fine the way it is.

View Quote (Deleted scene in Infinifilm edition) Dr. Evil: Goldmember, I have an anagram for you: "i fit iron dick."
Goldmember: Yes. "i fit iron dick." Yes, it's an anagram, so it's a jumble word. Okay, jumbling, jumbling... Carry the 7... Divided by... Yes. (Gives up.)
Dr. Evil: Yeah, can't get it? "i fit iron dick," "frickin' idiot." (Starts spelling it to the tune to Old McDonald Had a Farm) "f-r-i-c-k-i-n', i-d-i-o-t. With a frick-frick here and a frick-frick there, here a frick, there a frick, everywhere a frick-frick. Dr. Evil had a suuu-ubbb... filled with... frick-in idiots.

View Quote Austin Powers: Mr. Roboto is lying to us.
Foxxy Cleopatra: Tell me something I don't know.
Austin Powers: I open-mouth kissed a horse once.
Foxxy Cleopatra: Say what?
Austin Powers: That's something you don't know.

View Quote Dr. Evil: Lower the globe.
Frau: (screeching) Lower the globe! [Goldmember flinches, the globe falls onto Dr. Evil's head]
Dr. Evil: Oww! Ow!
Goldmember: Scheiße!
Dr. Evil: Well, congratulations, numb-nuts! You've succeeded in turning me into a frickin'g jack-in-the-box! Get it off! Get it off! It's dark, it's dark! [Number 2 pulls the globe off Dr. Evil's head.] Okay! I'm okay. [Goldmember chuckles] Release the meteor.
Frau: (screeching) Release the meteor! [Mini-me swings a gold meteor model into Dr. Evil's groin]
Dr. Evil: (falls over) Ohh! Oh! Ohh, ohh, no way!
Goldmember: Right in the kniggin!
Dr. Evil: God damn it! Oh! Guys! [to Mini-me who shrugs afterwards] Way to go, a-hole! Everyone, just let me find my balls here, for God's sake... 1, 2, and 3. Okay, they're all there. I'm okay, I'm okay.

View Quote Assistant Director: And Cut! That's a cut everybody!
Steven Spielberg: So Austin, what did you think of the opening credits?
Austin: Well, I can't believe Sir Steven Spielberg, the grooviest filmmaker in the history of ciniema is making a mooovie about my life..very shagadelic baby, yeah! (laughs) Having said that, I do have some thoughts.
Steven Spielberg: Really, (Holds up an Oscar) my friend here - he thinks it's fine the way it is.
Austin: Well no offense sir Stevie, but you've gotta have mojo baby, yeah! Hit it!
(Austin Powers Theme begins)

View Quote Johnson: Sir? Dr. Evil is not bluffing. One of our satellites is falling out of orbit.
World Leader: Which one?
Johnson: It's the one that looks like a pair of--
[cut to fruit stand]
Woman: Melons! Big juicy melons![holds them in front of her breasts.]
Man: Are they nice and firm?
Woman: Well, what do you think?
Man: [pointing to the sky] Look at that! It looks like a set of giant--
[cut to football game. 4 men are cheering with the letters "T","I","T" and "S" painted on their chests.]
Man with second T: A, and N, you're late! [two men with the letters "A" and "N" arrive, forming "TITANS."]
"A" Man: How we doing, man?
Men: Yeah! Go, Titans! Yeah!
"A" Man: Check it out! Those remind me of--
[film pauses]
Ozzy Osbourne: Boobs!
Sharon Osbourne: Boobs, Ozzy?
Ozzy Osbourne: These filmmakers are just f[bleep]ing boobs!
Kelly Osbourne: What do you mean, Dad?
Ozzy Osbourne: Well, their using the same f[bleep]ing jokes as they did in the last Austin Powers movie.
Sharon Osbourne: What f[bleep]ing joke?
Jack Osbourne: You know, the f[bleep]ing joke about the long, smooth rocket that looks like some guy's--
[back to World Organization]
World Leader: Johnson?
Johnson: Yes sir?
World Leader: Any sign of that satellite?
Johnson: No sir. It's gone.

View Quote Austin: Excellent Basil, we've been trying for years to get a mole into Dr. Evil's lair, we know have that mole.
Basil:: Yes! Ah, and here he is.
Austin: So you're the (zoom up on the mole's mole) mo-o-ole, mo-o-o-le...
Foxxy: and Austin: Mo-ost, most, most excellent agent we've ever seen.
Austin: Yes, most excellent agent we've ever seen.
Foxxy: Mm-hmmm
Austin: (quietly to Foxxy) Thank you.
Mole: Thank you. Now, I wasn't able to get an exact location, but I did learn that Dr. Evil has moved to a new lair outside of Tokyo Japan......By the way, I realize that I have a large mole on my face.
Austin: Where??? (nervously laughs) What? Where's that mole? I... didn't see one.
Mole: I also realize the irony that I am myself a mole.
Austin: (nervously) No one would make that connection.
Basil: (to the Mole) Anyway, well done, old chap. Jolly good work.
Austin: Yes, nice to mole you--meet you! Nice to meet your mole! Don't say mole.
Foxxy: Stop.
Austin: I said mole.
Foxxy: Stop!
Mole: Bye.
Austin: Mole.
(Basil and the Mole walk to the elevator.)
Austin: Mo-ole... (Basil raises index finger, face indicating "that's enough.") Mole!
Basil: (irritated) Oh, shut up!
Austin: Moley-moley-moley-moley-moley!