N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

Columbus quotes

View Quote [voiceover] Oh, America. I wish I could tell you that this was still America, but I've come to realize that you can't have a country without people. And there are no people here. No, my friends. This is now the United States of Zombieland. It's amazing how quickly things can go from bad to total shitstorm.
View Quote The first rule of Zombieland: Cardio. When the zombie outbreak first hit, the first to go, for obvious reasons... were the fatties.
View Quote In those moments where you're not quite sure if the undead are really dead, dead, don't get all stingy with your bullets. I mean, one more clean shot to the head, and this lady could have avoided becoming a human Happy Meal. Woulda…coulda…shoulda.
View Quote I used to avoid people like they were zombies before they were zombies. Now that they are all now zombies, I kinda miss people.
View Quote [to Tallahassee] You are like a giant **** blocking robot, like developed in a secret ****ing government lab!
View Quote [voiceover, face to face with a zombie clown] Oh God. Look at this ****ing clown. Of course…it had to be a clown! No, wait. It had to be a clown. And it had to be Wichita up there to make me realize that some rules… [the words "RULE #17: DON'T BE A HERO" appear, with the word "DON'T" falling down] …are meant to be broken. Time to nut up or shut up. **** this clown.
View Quote So until next time, remember: Cardio, seat belts, and this really has nothing to do with anything, but a little sunscreen never hurt anybody. I'm Columbus, Ohio from Zombieland, saying good night.
  »   More Quotes from
  »   Back to the