Astronaut (25-Year-Old Walter) [to Lisa]
The Astronaut, from the game we're in. [pointing at Danny] Danny spun me.
Played by Dax Shepard 
Zathura (2005) · 37 quotes
Zathura (2005) · 37 quotes
3rd most-quoted character in Zathura (2005): in 7 of its 37 quotes
Most scenes with: Walter (10-Year-Old Astronaut) (2), Danny (2)
Zorgons. They're big gnarly lizards. Cold blooded heat seekers and the tiniest spark of warmth will bring them in like moths. Flying all around in the galaxy. Looking for anything they can find to burn up. (Walter: Why don't they just burn up their own planet?) Oh, they already did. That's not even the worst of it. Their problem is their ravenous appetite. They never stop eating. (Walter: What do they eat?) Meat. (Danny: That's good.) Dude, You're meat.
More lines from Astronaut (25-Year-Old Walter)
4 quotes Astronaut (25-Year-Old Walter) Astronaut (25-Year-Old Walter) Okay, guys. Here's the thing. I played this game before. Okay? I played it with my own brother 15 years ago. (Walter: You were a player?) Yeah. Just like you guys. We were fighting a lot back then. And when the game started, it got even worse. Every time we spun we got madder and madder at one another, and then I landed on a star space, the same one that Walter just landed on. Well I was so mad at him, that when the star passed, I made my wish. (Walter: You did you wish for?) I wished that my brother had never been born. (Danny: Oh my god.) As soon as I did it I felt horrible. I thought—you know if I could spin again maybe I-- I could—I could land on another star space and—and wish him back, but the game wouldn't let me. Because it wasn't my turn. Walter, there's some games you can't play alone. (Walter: So what do we do now?) We go back downstairs and we finish this thing once in for all. No more cheating. No more arguing. All you guys have to do is spin a few more times. I'll help you fight off whatever it comes out. Deal?
Astronaut (25-Year-Old Walter) Burning gas! That's probably what brought 'em here in the first place!
Astronaut (25-Year-Old Walter) Nope. I'm doing this is because I've been eating paste out of a tube for 15 years.
Scenes with Astronaut (25-Year-Old Walter)
2 scenes
Walter
Hang on a second. Something's wrong.
Astronaut
What?
Walter
[Danny’s ship was ahead of Walter's in the next spot] [to Danny]
I was ahead of you.
Walter
[angrily]
No, nobody kicked the board. You cheated!
No I didn't.
Walter
You cheated! I knew you were gonna cheat!
Astronaut
"Cheater's" a strong word.
Walter
YOU CHEATED!!
I DIDN'T CHEAT!
Astronaut
Guys, guys, please. Bring it down. Indoor voices. Now, did you move the piece?
Maybe... I moved the piece... by an accident.
Astronaut
Okay. It was an accident.
Walter
How can you move the piece by accident if it's stuck to the game?! That's impossible! You cheated!
Astronaut
No, no, no, let's not use that word. No, stop saying cheated.
Walter
You cheated! Cheater!!!
I DIDN'T CHEAT!
Astronaut
Hey, hey, hey. Come on. Okay? Now, where did you move from?
Walter
No, you weren't! You were back there!
Nuh-uh.
Astronaut
[Walter moves Danny’s ship back to the same spot where he spun the astronaut]
Okay, care-- careful.
Walter
God.
Astronaut
Okay, it's fixed.
Walter
You're such a baby.
I'm not a baby!
Astronaut
[overlapping Walter and Danny]
Slow down, slow down, slow down.
Walter
Yes, you are a baby!
I'm not a baby!
Walter
You're a baby!
Astronaut
[trying to stop Walter and Danny’s argument]
Nobody is a baby here!
I'm not a baby!
Walter
[yelling]
You're a little baby!
Astronaut
[covering Danny’s mouth, stopping the argument]
JEEZ! It won't stop! Please! Okay, let's play the game.
Walter
[annoyed]
Fine! [pushes the "Go" button, but the number on the panel keeps spinning due to Walter moving Danny's ship back] Won't stop spinning.
What's wrong with it?
Walter
You broke it.
Astronaut
[sees yellow card]
Oh, look. There's the card. See? It fixed itself.
Walter
[reads card]
"CAUGHT CHEATING Automatic ejection"? Does it mean me?
Well, you did move the piece.
Walter
[points to Danny]
He's the one who cheated. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! [flies up out through the hole in the house's roof and gets sucked into space while screaming, and one of Walter's cool Nike sneakers falls off]
Walter! [astronaut gets his turbo-jet-pack] [runs up the stairs] Hang on, Walter! I'll save you!
Walter
Help!
Wait a minute! I got an idea! [Walter hangs on by his fingertips and Danny gets the lamp] I'm going to swing this lamp up to you and you grab it and I'll pull you down.
Walter
[about to slip off]
I CAN'T HANG ON ANY LONGER!
Walter
[slips off]
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Astronaut
[comes with a turbo-jet-pack on his back]
Stand back! [blasts off to get Walter down]
[waiting for Walter to come down]
Walter! [looking at the hole] Walter! Oh, no. [Astronaut got Walter down] You okay? Are you okay?
Walter
[annoyed]
Get away from me.
Sorry. [gives the other shoe to Walter]
Walter
[angrily]
Don't talk to me 'til we get home. [puts his other shoe on]
Robot
[breaks trough the door]
EMERGENCY. [The Zorgons all growl] ALIEN LIFE-FORM. MUST DESTROY.
Walter
He still wants to kill me! [robot grabs his neck]
Use the card, quick!
Walter
[holding the card to the robot]
"REPROGRAM"!
Robot
[repair bot appears to fix the robot and shuts it down and turns back on. The robot then lets go of Walter's neck]
ALIEN LIFE-FORM. [Zorgons growling] MUST DESTROY. [uses his jet booster to chase them, Danny and Walter follow them, the Zorgons try to escape to their battleship and the robot uses his jet booster again to attack their battleships] ALIEN LIFE-FORM. MUST DESTROY. [Zorgon's second battleship explodes while the robot is still attacking the first one causing it to roll around]
Walter
Guess that's what the "REPROGRAM" card's for.
I like that card.
Walter
It's a good card.
[Danny and Walter are discussing about the "REPROGRAM" card, not noticing a surviving Zorgon coming down the stairs behind them]
Where's Lisa?
[Danny’s piano suddenly crashes down the stairs and flattens the Zorgon. Lisa is revealed to have been the one to push it]
Lisa... is upstairs.
Astronaut
What fell? [sees the crushed Zorgon] Little excessive, but I like it. Come on.
