Good morning, Eeyore. Lovely day, isn't it?
Wish I could say yes, but I can't.
Oh my, Eeyore. You wouldn't happen to have any honey lying about, would you? You see, I seem to have run out. [tummy continues to rumble] Oh, yes. Good idea, tummy. Perhaps I should look in back. Bother. No honey in here, either. What? Eeyore, what has happened to your tail?
What has happened to it?
Well... it isn't there.
That accounts for a good deal. That explains everything. No wonder. [sighs]
Oh! There it is. I'd recognize it anywhere. The very tree where I was hatched. I remember the day Mother made these marks, her giant meaty claw carving furrows in the crumbly bark. Chapter one, the birth of a genius.
Pardon me, Owl. What are you doing?
Hmm? Oh, hello, Pooh. Eeyore. Why, I'm penning my personal memoirs. [chuckling] Yes. Now, where was I? Oh, yes, of course. With steely nerve...
Perhaps you could take a short break from your important work and help us find Eeyore's tail?
...and I rocketed towards Eeyore's tail! Eeyore's tail? What's wrong with Eeyore's tail?
Well, it isn't there.
Yes. So I see.
Won't you help us, Owl? You have such a talent for speaking and telling us what to do.
Oh, thank you, Pooh. Yes, I do, don't I? I didn't think anyone noticed. All right, take this. Write this down carefully. Now, the customary procedure in such cases is as follows…
Excuse me, Owl, but what does "Crustimoney Proseedcake" mean? For I am a bear of very little brain and long words bother me.
It means "the thing to do."
Oh. Well, as long as it means that, I don't mind.
Yes, well, the thing to do is as follows: First, issue a reward...
Gesundheit.
I beg your pardon?
Well, you sneezed just as you were going to tell me what the first thing to do was.
I didn't sneeze.
Oh, you did, Owl.
No, I didn't! You can't sneeze without knowing it!
Well, you can't know it without something having been sneezed.
[gloomily]
I'll probably catch it, too.
[frustrated]
No, no, no! I'm not catching a cold! The word is ISSUE, not AH-CHOO! And 'ah-choo' isn't even a word! It's just some sort of sneezy sound, like 'Ah-choo!'
Perhaps you should lie down, Owl.
Oh! [facepalms and falls over backwards]
My throat feels a little scratchy.
Open wide, please.
Ahh.
Just as I suspected. Owl, we need honey.
Enough of this infernal folderol! Look, the thing to do is, we write a notice promising a large something to anyone who finds a replacement tail for Eeyore! Is that clear?
That sounds like a wonderful plan, Owl.
Excellent. Now, we shall get Christopher Robin to write out the notices, and we'll put them up all over the forest.
