N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

Jack: You're going to pay a disobedience fee of $10,000! Plus another $40,000 to rebuild the bar! And if you want to see your friend alive again, do not call the cops! If you're not here in half an hour to settle this, I'm going to take the fine out on your friend's legs! I'm going to break them with this tire iron!
Dudley: Don't bring the money! I'm a computer programmer! I don't need my legs!
Jack: Fine! I'll break his hands!
Dudley: Oh, damn it. Bring the money!
Dudley: [upon seeing Maggie] She is perfect.
Doug: You like the waitress?
Dudley: Oh, man. I wanted to say something funny to her, but all I could think of was black jokes.
Bobby: Like which ones?
Dudley: I forget.
Bobby: Why don't you tell the one that ends with you getting your ass whooped.
Dudley: Would that be funny?
Bobby: I'll be laughing. Oh, I'll be cracking up.
Bobby: [after being called out by Jack] Anyone else getting that pre-rape feeling?
Red: [grinning] I do.
Doug: You're the sheriff, aren't you going out there?
Charley: Hey, I took my law enforcement course on the internet! For arms training, they just told us to play Doom!
Woody: [a large yard is full of a bunch of leaves] Well go home, Toby! You make me sick!
Toby: I can't do this many leaves for $10!
[Woody kicks a pile of leaves.]
Dudley: I'm looking to the parade this year. I got little Tootsie Rolls to throw to the kids.
Woody: Tootsie Rolls? You cannot even put on your left blinker without wiping out.
Maggie: That's too bad. I wanted you to try to kill my chili. It's pretty hot.
Dudley: No, I'll try it. I like your kind of hot. Chili, chili hot. Food hot. That's the hot I want to kiss. Eat.
Charley: Needless to say, we don't carry firearms anymore. Sometimes you pull them out and think they're not loaded, and...
Bobby: You blow your deputy's ear off.
Charley: Yeah.
Bobby's Mother-In-Law: In my days, The ladies stayed at home, not lazy MEN!
Bobby: In your days, The men had pyramids to build. HOW OLD IS THAT!?!?
Bobby's Mother-In-Law: [shocked] HOLY.

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