Jack You're going to pay a disobedience fee of $10,000! Plus another $40,000 to rebuild the bar! And if you want to see your friend alive again, do not call the cops! If you're not here in half an hour to settle this, I'm going to take the fine out on your friend's legs! I'm going to break them with this tire iron!
Don't bring the money! I'm a computer programmer! I don't need my legs!
Jack Fine! I'll break his hands!
Oh, damn it. Bring the money!
You like the waitress?
Oh, man. I wanted to say something funny to her, but all I could think of was black jokes.
Bobby Like which ones?
I forget.
Bobby Why don't you tell the one that ends with you getting your ass whooped.
Would that be funny?
Bobby I'll be laughing. Oh, I'll be cracking up.
Bobby Anyone else getting that pre-rape feeling?
Red I do.
You're the sheriff, aren't you going out there?
Charley Hey, I took my law enforcement course on the internet! For arms training, they just told us to play Doom!
Woody Well go home, Toby! You make me sick!
Toby I can't do this many leaves for $10!
I'm looking to the parade this year. I got little Tootsie Rolls to throw to the kids.
Woody Tootsie Rolls? You cannot even put on your left blinker without wiping out.
Maggie That's too bad. I wanted you to try to kill my chili. It's pretty hot.
No, I'll try it. I like your kind of hot. Chili, chili hot. Food hot. That's the hot I want to kiss. Eat.
Charley Needless to say, we don't carry firearms anymore. Sometimes you pull them out and think they're not loaded, and...
Bobby You blow your deputy's ear off.
Charley Yeah.
Bobby's Mother-In-Law In my days, The ladies stayed at home, not lazy MEN!
Bobby In your days, The men had pyramids to build. HOW OLD IS THAT!?!?
Bobby's Mother-In-Law HOLY.