N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

Josh And the Big Wall (The defenders of Jericho, played by the French Peas, are taunting the Israelites from atop the city's great wall) Josh (Larry the Cucumber): Who are you? Jean-Claude: Who are we? I think we should ask. Who are you? Josh: Oh, um... I am Joshua. And these are the children of Israel. Philippe: Ooh! Hello, children! Jimmy Gourd: Hi! Philippe: It was nice to meet you. Now go away! Jean-Claude: Yes! (blows raspberry) Josh: (clears throat) No, you don't understand. God has given us this land for our new home. So, well... you're gonna have to leave. Philippe: (laughs) Did you hear that, Jean-Claude? The little pickle says we have to leave! Josh: I'm a cucumber. Jean-Claude: (laughs) That is hilarious! (clears throat) Let me point something out to you, pickle. We have a wall! Philippe: Uh-huh. Jean-Claude: You do not! Philippe: No! Jean-Claude: If anyone is to be doing the leaving, it will be you! Philippe: Oh, that is right! Josh: Now, listen to me! Our God said that this land was ours, and that all we had to do was follow His directions. So... I'm afraid... if you don't come out, we're gonna have to come in there after you! (Jean-Claude and Philippe laugh.) Jean-Claude: I'd like to see you try! You could never get over our giant wall, (under breath) tiny pickle! Philippe: Yes, tiny pickle! You are not a mighty dill, you are just a baby gherkin! Josh: (feeling insulted) I'm a cucumber! (Jean-Claude and Philippe laugh) Philippe: (bumps his slushie off the edge) Ooh! My slushie! (The slushie hits Jimmy on the head. Josh is appalled) Jimmy: (frustrated) Maybe we should fall back and regroup. (Discouraged by the giant walls of Jericho, the Israelites discuss plans over a campfire) Tom Grape: That's a big wall! Pa Grape: This time, I really mean it! We should go back to Egypt. (everybody looks at him in disbelief) Don't you remember? Snorkeling in the Nile? Three square meals a day? Plenty of exercise? Oh, it was paradise! Tom: We were in slavery. Pa: Nothing is perfect. Jimmy: Listen, kids! That land is rightfully ours! And the only way we're gonna get it is by taking down that wall! Right, Jerry? Jerry Gourd: Uh, yeah. Th-That's right, Jimmy. Jimmy: So Jerry and I are gonna put our heads together and come up with a plan... to take down the wall! Jerry: Yeah! Pa: They are so aggressive. (Josh finishes explaining God's directions to the Israelites) Jimmy: So... we're supposed to hop around the city for seven days, blow our little horns, yell, and the walls are just gonna fall down. Josh: Yep. Those are God's directions. Jimmy: Well... I'm sure that would work great... if the walls were made out of Jell-O! Jerry: Ooh! Then we could eat 'em! Pa: Last call for Egypt! Who's coming with me? Percy Pea: I will! Scooter Carrot: Count me in! Jimmy: Just a minute! I think you'll find our plan a bit more sophisticated. Blowin' horns in the desert isn't gonna do it. What we need is serious firepower. Jerry, the curtain! (Jerry uncovers a tarp to reveal a giant rocket; Scooter, Pa, and Tom gasp in amazement) Behold our creation: the Wallminator 3000! (the Israelites applaud) Tom: How are we clapping? Pa: I have no idea. Tom: Well, Pa? Do you still want to see the pyramids? Pa: I've seen the pyramids. Ha! I built the pyramids! Let's go to Jericho! Bob: The next day, they all set off again to march around Jericho. Now, God never said it would be easy. No, the people of Jericho hit 'em with everything they had. Jean-Claude: Fire one! Fire two! Bob: But the Israelites remembered that they were following God's directions and they kept on marching. Six days they marched and nothing could stop them. On the seventh day, just like God had told them, they marched around Jericho seven times while the priests blew their horns. (" When the Saints Go Marching In" playing) And just like God said, when they finished marching, the priests blew one long blast and then all the people yelled. Israelites: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Pa Grape: (hacking) (birds chirping) French Peas: (chuckling) (thud) (rumbling) French Peas: AHHHH! (crashing down) French Peas: (gasp) Larry: Hello! My name is Joshua, and God has given us this land! French Peas: (screaming) Bob: So the Israelites obeyed God and the walls fell down. Junior: Wow! Bob: Finally, after 40 years, they were in their new home. Jimmy: Ow! Oh! Boy, did I pick a lousy day to wear my contacts! (last lines) Larry: (yawns) Is it time for the show? (the lights and Qwerty's monitor screen turns off) Aw, nuts. quotes

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