N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

Up in Smoke

Up in Smoke quotes

37 total quotes

View Quote Man Stoner: Ohhh! Ohhh!
Pedro: Hey, man, how far you goin', man?
Man Stoner: [points to the curb] Oh, right here would be fine, man!
Pedro: Oh, you ain't scared of a little speed, are ya, man?
Man Stoner: Wha, you got some speed, man?
Pedro: Huh? Oh. Speed? Uh, no, I ain't got no speed, man. But you know what I do got, though, man? I got a joint, man!
Man Stoner: Oh, wow. Alright.
Pedro: [gets it out and hands it to Man] Here, light that thing up, man, let's get Chinese-eyed, man.
Man Stoner: [eyeing the joint] What kind of joint is this, man?
Pedro: Oh, it's a heavy duty joint, man.
Man Stoner: Looks like a toothpick, man.
Pedro: Naw, it's not a toothpick, man.
Man Stoner: Hey, it IS a toothpick, man.
[hands it back to Pedro]
View Quote Man Stoner: Yeah, I know, but listen. I slept in a ditch last night, man, I almost froze my balls off, man.
Pedro de Pacas: Hey, I didn't think you had any, man. I wouldn't even have stopped.
View Quote Man Stoner: Yeah, that 'Nam grass will **** anyone up, man!
View Quote Man: You wanna get high, man?
Pedro: Does Howdy Doody have wooden Balls, man?
View Quote Mrs. Tempest Stoner: [in disgust] Gross!
Arnold Stoner: [rubs his forehead with his hand] Oh, good God Almighty me. I think he's the Antichrist. [turns to his son] Anthony, I want to talk to you. Now, listen! [Anthony walks away and gives an obscene gesture behind his back] Don't walk away from me when I'm talking to you! You get a goddamn job before sundown...
Mrs. Tempest Stoner: [pointing to Anthony as he walks away] Is that some kind of peace sign?
Arnold Stoner: ...or we're shipping you off to military school with that... goddamn Finkelstein... shit kid! [turns away in frustration] Son of a BITCH!
View Quote Pedro: [laughing while stoned] Way anchor! How much does it weigh? I don't know, I forgot! Pffhhh! Ha-ha, I saw that in a movie once...!
View Quote Pedro: Aw, man, it's... [looking at it, puzzled] it IS a toothpick! I must got it in another pocket, man. Hold on, I got the shit right here, man. [feels around in his pocket] Oh, that's my dick. [feels around some more] Yeah, there we go. Hey, there you go, man. [hands a skinny, curled up joint to Man] Light that sucker up, man. And go to the moon.
Man Stoner: [looking at a dinky little joint] Jeez, I hope your dick's bigger than this, man.
Pedro: Hey, man, you wanna get out and walk, man?
View Quote Pedro: Don't worry, man. Those aren't narcs, they're Las Emigras; you know, the Immigration Service looking for illegal aliens.
Man Stoner: What's the Immigration Service doing here, man?
Pedro: My cousin needed a ride to his brother's wedding in Tijuana; so he called the Emigras, man. They'll deport the entire wedding party, man. They get a free bus ride across the border and lunch. When the wedding is over, man, they'll just come back across the border.
View Quote Pedro: Hey, man, am I driving okay?
Man Stoner: [looks around] I think we're parked, man.
View Quote Pedro: I been smoking since I was born, man, I can smoke anything, man. You know like I smoke that Michoacán, and Acapulco Gold, man. I even smoke that tied stick, you know?
Man Stoner: "Tied stick?"
Pedro: Yeah, you know that stuff that's tied to a stick.
Man Stoner: Ohh, THAI stick.
View Quote Pedro: It's punk rock, Man! We can do that; we can be punks, Man!
View Quote Pedro: Man, what is in this shit, man?
Man Stoner: Mostly Maui Waui, man.
Pedro: Yeah?
Man Stoner: But it's got some Labrador in it.
Pedro: What's Labrador?
Man Stoner: It's dog shit.
Pedro: What?
Man Stoner: Yeah, my dog ate my stash, man. I had it on the table and the little mother****er ate it, man.
Pedro: Yeah?
Man Stoner: So I had to follow him around with a little baggie for three days before I got it back. Really blew the dog's mind, ya know?
Pedro: You mean we're smokin' dog shit, man?
Man Stoner: Gets ya high, don't it?
[song "Rockin' Robin" plays...]
View Quote Pedro: Uuhhh - His name is RAALLLPH, man!
View Quote Sgt. Stedenko: Now just how well do you know that freak with the basketball?
Unknown: Which basketball?
Sgt. Stedenko: Which basketball?
View Quote Sgt. Stedenko: Some asshole pissed on my leg!