Uncut Gems (2019) quotes

View Quote Arno: Howard, you did this to yourself.

View Quote Demany: And what the **** is it wit' you Jewish **** and basketball anyway?
Howard: I'll have you know the first two points scored in the NBA was a Jew.
Demany: Yeah, yeah, who what, Fred Flintstein?
Howard: No. Ossie Schectman, 1946, played for the Knicks.

View Quote Dinah Ratner: I think you are the most annoying person I have ever met. I hate being with you, I hate looking at you... And if I had my way I would never - see you - again.

View Quote Howard: I need you to listen to me carefully. I booked you on a Blade, okay? You're gonna land on top of the Mohegan Sun. There's a bet in that bag. I want you to take all of it. All of it inside the bag, and place it on that bet.
Julia: How much is in the bag?
Howard: There's a lot. I don't want you to think about that. All right? I don't even want you to look at it until you get there and you take it out and you give it to the teller. You understand me?
Julia: Okay. I got it. I got it.
Howard: I'm gonna **** the living shit out of you tonight. You know that?
Julia: I wish I could kiss you.
Howard: All right you gotta go.
Julia: All right. Love you. Bye.

View Quote Julia: It's this guy The Weeknd.
Howard: What the **** is The Weeknd?
Julia: He's gonna be major, even though he's from Canada.
Howard: This guy looks stupid.

View Quote Kevin Garnett: What did you pay for this? Real shit, what did you pay for this right here?
Howard: That's not a fair question, Kevin! All right? We're talkin' months and months of ****in' - my time!
Kevin Garnett: Straight up, me and you, mano a mano. How much you pay for this?
Howard: I paid a hundred grand, OK?
Kevin Garnett: So - you doubled your money.
Howard: I'M the joke here, all right? I got ****! A million dollars is what I was supposed to get! I get a ****in' what? Made sixty-five G's?

View Quote Kevin Garnett: Why's it got so many colours in it man what is this?
Howard: That's the thing they say you can see the whole universe in opal that's how **** old they are.
Kevin Garnett: Holy shit.
Howard: I've been telling ya that's why I wanted you to see it.
Kevin Garnett: I gotta have this.
Demany: Yo that's crazy man.
Howard: From stone to stone Garnett's a stone you know that. That's a million dollar opal you're holding straight from the Ethiopian Jewish tribe. I mean this old school Middle Earth shit.
Demany: You got a mother**** dinosaur gem.
Howard: Dinosaur's that right the mother**** dinosaur's staring at this shit.

View Quote [holding the black opal] This ****in' thing makes me feel like I can fly.

View Quote [weeping] Everything I do is not goin' right! Everything I do is not goin' right! I don't know what to do, I really don't.

View Quote I know. I know. Jews and colon cancer. What is that? I thought we were the chosen people.

View Quote I made a crazy risk. You gamble and it's about to pay off.

View Quote This is me! This is how I win.