Twister quotes

View Quote Preacher: No, that was a good size twister. What was it, an F-3?
Bill: Solid F-2.
Melissa: See, now you've lost me again.
Bill: It's the Fujita Scale. It measures the intensity of a tornado by how much it eats.
Melissa: Eats?
Bill: Destroys.
Lawrence: The one we last encountered was a strong F-2, maybe an F-3.
Beltzer: Maybe we'll see some F-4's today.
Haynes: That would be sweet!
Bill: 4 is good. 4 will relocate your house very efficiently.
Melissa: Is there an F-5? [silence falls over the group] What would that be like?
Preacher: ...The Finger of God.
Melissa: None of you has ever seen an F-5?
Bill: ...Just one of us.

View Quote Rabbit: Uh... yeah, trust me. Rabbit is good, Rabbit is wise.

View Quote Rabbit: God Meg, you got alot of beef. Where'd you get all this beef?
Aunt Meg: Did you see my cows out front?
Rabbit: No.
Aunt Meg: Op...aaah!
[laughter from everyone]
Rabbit: Oh.
Dusty: You slaughter your own cows! Meg, nice!

View Quote Rabbit: Y'know, in a severe lightning storm, you want to grab your ankles and stick your butt in the air.
Haynes: He's right. If you're gonna get hit it's the safest orifice.
Joey: Yeah, I'd like to get hit by lightning once, y'know, see what it's like.

View Quote Rabbit: You know, Jo, some of us couldn't help but notice how close we are to Wakita.
Jo: No.
Sanders: Aunt Meg wouldn't mind a pit stop, right?
Jo: No!
Dusty: Red meat! We crave sustenance!
Jo: Guys, we are NOT invading my aunt!
Dusty: F-food!
Rest of the Team: Food! FOOD!
Jo: Hey! We're absolutely not going!

View Quote (a house crashes in front of Bill and Jo and they have no choice but to drive through it)
Bill: I think we're going in! (they scream as they drive through the house and out the other side) ...Maybe we should get off this road.
Jo: I think you're right.

View Quote (Bill pulls Jo to the truck as she fights)
Jo: Beltzer will tell us if drops near us!
Bill: It's not gonna drop near us its gonna drop right on us!
(they get out just as the tornado drops where they just were)

View Quote (Jo and Bill are too busy arguing to notice a tornado)
Beltzer: Hey, are you gonna wrap this up?
Bill: WHAT?
Beltzer: Oh nothing, I was just wondering if we were going to chase this tornado or just catch the next one.
Bill: SHIT!!

View Quote [A combine has just been dropped from a tornado.]
Jo: Debris! Dusty, we have Debris!
Bill: DEBRIS?
Jo: Right! Left! Right! Left!
Bill: Which way now?
Jo: I have no idea.

View Quote [Aunt Meg is being loaded into an ambulance]
Jo: Is she OK?
Paramedic: We'll probably keep her overnight just to be safe.
Aunt Meg: Overnight? Forget it, I'm all right.
Jo: You're going to the hospital.
Aunt Meg: OK, I'll go, but I'm gonna drive myself.
Rabbit: Honey, your car is in a tree around the corner.
Aunt Meg: OOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

View Quote [Bill, driving a truck, has been dodging multiple combines and gone through a house.]
Bill: Maybe we should get off of this road.

View Quote [Melissa is giving therapy to a patient over the phone.]
Melissa: She did not marry your penis. Ok, she didn't ONLY marry your penis.

View Quote [After their first attempt to launch Dorthy fails. Jo is picking up parts, while Dusty is chuckling] Dusty: Well, there's some good news. It DID fly. What was it like?
Jo: ...It was windy.
Dusty: Windy. [Chuckles] That's intense.

View Quote [Bill sees Jonas talking to a camera crew about his D.O.T.3 system, then starts angrily walking toward him] Jo: Bill?
Bill: Why didn't you tell me?
Jo: Bill, don't!
Joey: Uh, what?
Jonas: And what will soon be the center of all studies- [Bill punches Jonas off his hat and slams him against his D.O.T.3 system] Hey! Hey! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY!
[Bill's team goes to stop Bill arguing with Jonas] Bill: You son-of-a-bitch! What, did you think I wasn't gonna find out?
Jonas: Hey guys, get this loser off of me!
[Bill's team comes to pull Bill off of Jonas, so as Jonas's team pushing Bill away] Jonas's team member #1: Alright! Back off! Back off!
Jonas's team member #2: Put your malfunction, man!
Joey: Come on, he's not worth it!
Jonas: What is the matter with you?!
Bill: [Tries to push at Jonas again] You stole my design, you son of a bitch!
Joey: Calm down!
Jonas: [Pushes Bill back] What the hell are you talking about?!
Bill: DOROTHY. You took her, you damn THIEF!
Jonas: [Realizes what Bill is talking about and smiles] Oh, I get it. You wanna take credit for my designs, is that it?
Bill: You're a liar. She was our idea and you know it!
Jonas: Unrealized idea. Unrealized.
Bill: That thing ain't worth shit! [Tries to attack Jonas again, Jo helps stop it]
Jo: Hey! Hey, guys! Bill! Guys! GUYS!!! Oh my guys! Get a grip on yourselves. We both know they'll never get that thing up in the air.
Joey: That's right!
Jonas: Well, let me enlighten you people. This baby has satellite com-link. We've got an onboard pulse Doppler, and we've got NEXRAD real-time. Today, we're gonna make history. So stick around, 'cause the days of sniffing the dirt are over.
Rabbit: Better than what you sniff.
Bill: We'll see who gets it first, PAL.
Jonas: Oh, and by the way...[Referring to Bill's new weatherman job] I really enjoy your weather reports. [Laughs and walks away]
[Some of Jonas's team members laugh] Bill: [Tries to go after Jonas again] JEEZ YOU SLIME!!! I'm not through with you, yet!
[Melissa sees the commotion. Jo's team holds Bill back until Jonas leaves, so as Jonas's team pushing Bill away. Bill then shoves them away, though still fuming] Rabbit: Alright! Alright!
Bill: Come on! Come here! Come on! Come on! Get your hands off of me! Let go of me! OKAY!!!
Sanders: He's a corporate kiss-butt, man!
Jo: [Walks to Bill] I'm sorry. I should've told you.
Bill: [Glaring at Jo] ONE DAY. I'll give you one day. Whether she flies or not, I'm gone.