Albert Gibson What kind of a sick bitch takes the ice cube trays out of the freezer?
Played by Tom Arnold 
True Lies (1994) · 72 quotes
True Lies (1994) · 72 quotes
Tied for 2nd most-quoted character in True Lies (1994): in 28 of its 72 quotes
Most scenes with: Spencer Trilby (12), Harry Tasker (11), Faisil (2)
30 seconds and counting. Ditch the bitch.
More lines from Albert Gibson
14 quotes Albert Gibson Albert Gibson Get lost, dipshit.
Albert Gibson Kids - 10 seconds of joy, 30 years of misery.
Albert Gibson Women. Can't live with 'em. Can't kill 'em.
Albert Gibson The guy is a used car salesman! This just keeps getting better and better! [Harry gives him a dirty look] I'm sorry, Harry, l I know this is hard for you. But you gotta admit if this was me you'd be laughing your ass off!
Albert Gibson [to Dana, who's wearing a helmet]
Yeah, I remember the first time I got shot out of a cannon.
Albert Gibson It's called ice and it's a little slick.
Albert Gibson I'm beginning to like this guy. [Harry gives him a mean look] Oh, we've still gotta kill him. That's a given.
Albert Gibson What did you expect, Harry? Helen's a flesh and blood woman and you're never there. It was only a matter of time.
Albert Gibson You know what? I'm sick of being in the van. You guys are going to be in the van next time. I've been in the van for fifteen years, Harry.
Albert Gibson So your life's in the crapper. So your wife is banging a used car salesman - it's humiliating, I know. But goddamnit, Harry, take it like a man!
Albert Gibson Harry? Harry? You do not have time to tango, buddy. You copy?
Albert Gibson Ok, I've got two words form that. In. Sane.
Albert Gibson You aren't her parents anymore, her parents are Axl Rose and Madonna, you can't compete with that kind of bombardment
Scenes with Albert Gibson
13 scenes Albert Gibson [about Harry's daughter]
Do you think she's still a virgin.
Don't be ridiculous, she's only - what is she now?
Albert Gibson She's fourteen!
She's fourteen years old!
Albert Gibson Yeah, and her little hormones are going off like a car alarm.
Helen is having an affair.
Albert Gibson Welcome to the club!
You tell on me, I'll tell on you.
Albert Gibson What are you talking about? I'm as clean as a preacher's sheets. I'm clean as...
What about the time you blew a six-week operation because you were too busy getting a blow job?
Albert Gibson You knew about that?
Uh-huh.
Helicopter Pilot
[Talking about Helen Tasker, in a car with Simon.]
Oh yeah, she's got her head in the guy's lap all right. Yahoo.
Albert Gibson [to Harry Tasker]
Maybe she's sleepy.
Albert Gibson Care to tango?
Yes, I would.
Assholes.
[hacking the computer]
Yes! Files are unlocked! Fast Faisil strikes again. I'm doing, man! I've got my hand up her skirt and I am goin...
Albert Gibson Just copy the goddamn files, OK?
Albert Gibson Well that worked real good. Right out of the old front gate.
Can you lean back for a second...
[Harry shoots two remaining pursuers.]
Can you hurry up. My horse is getting tired.
Albert Gibson Your horse?
Albert Gibson [over radio]
All right twinkle toes, what's you exit strategy?
I'm gonna walk right out of the front gate.
Albert Gibson [over radio]
Ballsy. Stupid but ballsy.
Albert Gibson [Harry is commandeering a Harrier to rescue his daughter.]
Harry, do you realize it has been, if fact, ten years since you've been behind the wheel of one of these things?
If I break it, they can take it outta my pay.
Albert Gibson Dickhead.
Blow me.
[Harry is reading the tapped phone conversations from Helen, and notices something, pulling over.]
Give me the page!
Albert Gibson What?
This jumps from page 9 to page 11.
Albert Gibson [looks at paper]
Must be a typo.
Albert Gibson [Harry smashes the passenger side of the window with his bare fist. Gibson looks at the window, and quickly grabs page 10 from his coat.]
OK.
Albert Gibson [Harry is reading the tapped phone conversations from Helen, and notices something, pulling over.]
My turn to drive?
Give me the page.
Gibson What are you talking about?
This jumps from page 9 to page 11. Where's page 10?
Gibson [looks at paper]
It's gotta be a typo.
[shouts]
Give me the goddamn page! [smashes the passenger side of the window with his bare fist.]
Gibson [Gibson looks at the window, then stares blankly at Harry]
OK. [Quickly grabs page 10 from coat]
