Hello. My name is Marty DiBergi. I'm a film-maker. I make a lot of commercials. That little dog that chases the covered wagon underneath the sink? That was mine.

Do me a favor. Just kick my ass, okay? Kick this ass for a man, that's all. Kick my ass. Enjoy. Come on. I'm not asking, I'm telling with this. Kick my ass.

It's a kick isn't it? Well, I used to be an actor but I could never remember my lines, so I thought 'just shut up,' you know? Don't say nothing.

Have... a... good... time... all the time.

Quite exciting, this computer magic.

I used to say "sex, drugs, and rock and roll" ...As long as there's sex and drugs, I can do without rock and roll.

(To Derek Smalls)

So you feel like a preserved moose on stage?